Death Wish
by Phoenix of Starlight
Summary: When one door closes, another opens, but it isn't always the door that we want to see opening. When I found myself captured by a strange man, the younger brother of a friend of mine, I didn't know what to do! Told from Bel's POV. 26B, with some 1869, XS.
1. A Cornered Mouse

**Death Wish**

**Chapter 1**

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><p>As I stood back up, I gave the stone one last, longing look. Beneath the smoothened marble lied a mahogany, wooden box, and inside it lied he who had first shown me friendship. He was the first to listen to how I felt.<p>

But things change, I supposed. I had to move on to survive.

Mammon was dead; if I hadn't gotten that through to my head, I wouldn't be known as a genius.

I sighed, turning to leave, but the second I took a step, I bumped into a young man who had been standing behind me. "Oh, excuse me," I said, stepping to the side. The other didn't respond, and he didn't even look at me, he just stood there, staring straight ahead, a rose in his hand. He then leaned down and placed the rose on Mammon's grave, stood up straight, and turned, about to walk away, when I reached forward and grabbed his arm on a whim. "Hey. Who are you?" I asked, turning him so that he'd look at me. He continued to look past me with a blank expression, giving me the impression that there was something wrong with him.

But it soon crossed over my mind just how strange he was. He had bright, teal hair and eyes, pale skin, and lavender, trangular-shaped markings stretching down from his lower eyelids. I'd never seen anything like him- except for...

Then, it hit me.

There was no doubt that this was a relative of Mammon's. Mammon had had indigo hair and eyes, and similar purple markings had been on his cheeks. The resemblence was so close, it almost made me think that somehow Mammon was part of this guy before me, even if he was... a little younger.

"Hey, say something," I said, tilting the man's head upward. "Helloooo?"

The other blinked slowly, and when he reopened his eyes, they were locked right into mine. I tried not to jump when I found that he was looking at me, but I couldn't resist a little quiver of suprise. The deep, teal orbs looked at me so blankly that I almost thought he was blind. But no, impossible, he was looking right at me! After a brief staring, contest, however, the man spoke at last. His voice was soft, and gentle, like a girl's, but the cheeky tone in it immediately got on my nerves. "You gonna keep starin' at me, or are you gonna let me go, blondie?"

I snickered and released him, and the man stepped back, rubbing his arm where I had held him. "Who are you?" I repeated.

"I dunno, who're you?" he countered.

"I'm Mammon's good friend, Belphegor," I said.

"Pfft. What parents would name their kid Belphegor? How lame," the other replied. "I'm Fran."

"Who were you to Mammon?" I asked out of pure curiosity.

"His little brother," Fran answered, folding his arms and looking away. As he clearly wanted nothing to do with me, I sighed, and started to walk away.

"I'm sorry for you, but I've got work," I muttered.

"Hey!"

Suddenly, he was the one to grab my arm, and he yanked me back with a grip so strong that I was thrown backwards onto the ground. Almost immediately, the young man was on top of me, pinning me down with superb strength that I never would have guessed he was concealing. "How close were you to him?" Fran asked, his blank eyes more cruel than those of the countless murderers I'd seen before.

"We were just friends," I said. "Nothing more."

"'Just friends,' you say?" the man answered, leaning down until our foreheads touched together. "You know he was killed?"

"Yes," Bel replied, "it was in the news- now, let me up!"

"Y'think you might know who did it?" the other hissed. "One who does not seek closure for an event like this more than likely doesn't care. One who doesn't care about a good friend... well that just doesn't add up, does it?"

"What are you suggesting?" I asked. The other paused, then sat back, placing his hands on his knees, still looking at me with the unusual deadpan expression.

"I'm suggesting that you had something to do with it," he replied. "You said your name was... Belphegor. And 'Belphegor' is the name of a demon, specializing in the sin of sloth. Hmmm..."

I stared at the blank face for a while longer, before I decided that I wasn't going to wait for him to discover something. I summoned up some willpower, then unleashed it by shoving Fran backwards, and getting up. Even when he shouted for me to stop, I started to run, and I hoped that I wouldn't see him again. He creeped me out, and his thirst to find the source of his brother's homecide was more than what I could handle. I was a fairly sane guy, pleasant, smart, and handsome, I might add. But my tolerance for brokenhearted, crazy people was at its ultimate low.

But somehow, things suddenly got weird... the world around me was suddenly distorted, twisted, I could no longer distinguish up from down. As a fiery headache took over my senses, I stumbled and landed on what must've been the ground, and then found myself grabbed, and dragged away as I struggled to get a hold of my senses. As the headache grew, so did the darkness that quickly took over my mind.

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><p>When I gained conciousness again, I found myself in a strange place, filled with random, bright colors that made my head spin. Strange shapes, unrealistic figures... the surreal environment made me feel sick. But it was then that I saw that guy from earlier- that Fran, just sitting in a neon orange, J-shaped object, hugging his knees, his eyes closed.<p>

"Where the hell am I?" I shouted, gripping my head tightly. Fran opened his teal eyes and looked over at me, then hopped out of the odd figure.

"Where else? You're in my training arena," he replied. "What, you think I just distort reality of my own accord? Look, Belphegor, I'm a top notch illusionist, so you better start talking. What do you know about my brother's death?"

His monotonous, droning voice was salt on the open wound. All around me were neon colors, chipping away at my mentality. Maybe Fran had lost his sanity- maybe that was why he could stand this... odd place. "I don't know anything," I hissed, rubbing my forehead, trying to soothe my headache.

"Master!" Fran called. "A word?"

A deep, spooky chuckle echoed around us, and an eerie, white fog rolled into the room, if it could be called that, before collecting into one, tall tower, forming, compressing into the shape of a man, and transforming into one. A man, dressed in a leather jacket and pants, a light blue shirt, and dark blue hair tyed back in a short ponytail, who now stared at Fran with odd, mismatched eyes. "Yes, Fran?" he said, his voice hinting at annoyance. He then spared me a glance, a creepy smile, and asked, "Is this about him?"

"I need you to teach me how to force the truth out of someone," Fran replied.

The older man laughed, and wielded a trident from the mist, before aiming it right at me. Unused to being the victim in any situation, I gasped, ducking away from the metal prongs and into the shocking pink wall behind me. I trembled when faced with the weapon, but it was soon drawn away from me, to be placed on the ground. "Fran, I've told you. To get the truth out of someone, either you must torture them until all of their pride and dignity has dissipated, or, you work your way into the core, where they are most vulnerable, and use them to get the information you want. However, breaking their mental walls often turns against you, even though it is the faster method, whereas weaving into the heart and soul takes a longer time, but will inevitably produce the results you're looking for."

"And, good fruity-headed Mater, approximately how long will it take to do this amazingly effective strategy?" Fran asked, sending me another wary glance.

"It all depends on your skill, dear Fran," the other said, winking at the younger man. "Are you good at handling this kind of thing?"

"Yeah, I guess," Fran muttered. "Which method did you take with your parrot guy?"

"That's a skylark, Fran," Mukuro sighed, before saying, "I took the stick-and-carrot method with him."

The illusionist arched a brow, then placed a hand on the other's chest and pushed him playfully. "You're so bad," he said. "Such a perv, considerin' you're a fruit and all."

Mukuro snorted and returned the little shove. "Anyway, try not to let this one die, and practice your illusions whenever possible."

Fran nodded as the other dispersed into mist, then turned back to me, a spark of mischief playing in his deadpan expression.

"You look like a pretty fun guy."

-**End Chapter**

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><p>Okay, even though there may be some implications here and there, this fic will be rooted in as a rated T. However, this will be my next B261869/possiblyXS fanfiction, so I hope it becomes a good one.

Please review!


	2. A Hair of Insanity

**Death Wish**

**Chapter 2**

A/N: Okay, to answer a couple questions here, this story _is_ AU, seriously 26B, and Bel's personality will be brought out more as the story progresses. :)

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><p>I had been captured by Fran three days ago. Now, I stood in a vibrant colored, but regularly shaped room, waiting for Fran to do something. I spent most of my time here, adapting, as he called it. But every so often, he would come inside and give me something to eat, or simply 'check in' on how I was doing. It would've been nice, had I been in this place by will.<p>

I learned that Fran and Mammon had lived here together for a short time, before Mammon decided to get an apartment. Huh. Quite the change if I do say so myself. I'd also learned that this 'Master' of Fran's was another 'illusionist' by the name of Mukuro Rokudo- can't say I'd heard of him before.

Now, allow me to explain a bit more about myself. I used to be a murderer, honestly, but I got counseling, which I didn't think would work at the time, but suprising enough, it did. I soon was dragged into reality, and 'shown the light', as they call it. There's still an inkling of the old me somewhere, however... and the thought of that makes me uncomfortable. Just a trace... a hair of insanity that hangs in the back of my mind... concealed... _at least for now._

As I sat on that damned, neon, polka-dotted bed, I thought back to my childhood, and shook my head with self-disappointment when I remembered being 'royalty.' I once had a twin brother, named Rasiel. He and I were lively, imaginative, and for the most part, kind. But there was something... different... about us. We could never seem to get along with each other, even though a twin is supposed to be one whom you can share all of your thoughts and feelings. Yet when it was us, we always envied the other for being a mirror. We couldn't stand the thought of sharing everything, so we often bickered back and forth, over small things, at first. One thing led to another, however... and eventually we were arguing that only one of us should live, because we couldn't continue to peacefully share our lives.

This wasn't the only oddity about us, though. We were also orphaned, which meant that we had to come up with our own past. Naturally, Jill and I looked at each other and said that without a doubt, we were born of royalty. I still don't know quite what is was... we were mere children, but still... Rasiel and my own odd attatchment to 'those of a higher class' was one of which even my counseler had trouble with. And it took me a long time to drop that belief, too.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just never going to be completely 'there'. There are some things I just don't understand... I can't help that! But there are things that I understand better than anyone else. I understand what it means to be _'trapped in your own world.'_ I understand _'the darkness that lies within everyone._' I understand the concept of being _'too abnormal to be able to relate to others.'_

I've always longed for that sense of 'fitting in' that Mammon had in middle school. The feeling of 'belonging to a group.' I never had that. It was always I, me, and myself. Mammon and I were 'good friends,' as I said, but we only hung out together when I wasn't busy being in therapy or doing stupid algebra. Heh. Algebra. Easy, but _way_ too time consuming.

Going back to my brother, allow me to explain how things turned out with him. Well... once we started fighting over who was 'the better prince,' everything snowballed until neither of us could handle the heaviness of our overlapping lives. It was just too much. But this is where things got really strange... even for me. Rasiel was always the better twin- not knowing that would make me a fool. However... on that day, something came over me. An impulse... an instinct... an overwhelming drive to be the winner.

It took me by suprise, but I was fast to run with it, and I did _just_ that, taking the sudden urge straight to the source of all my stress: my brother. While he was still asleep, I got a hold of a knife, and it was over before it even started. All I remember is the horrifying pleasure I took as I tore him apart, his blood staining my skin and clothes. The delight in the situation as I carved his heart from his body... Now that I understood 'society,' I was almost frightened by those actions. Almost is the key word there, because I don't neccessarily regret them. After all... my life has been _considerably_ better since Rasiel had detatched from it.

I wonder... if I _was_ born normal... would I have done the same thing? Would I have still killed him? Would I have still held his heart in my hands, grinning like the insane murderer I was? No... frankly, I think I would've gone for a more... eh... civilized kill...

But the thing is, Rasiel was only the first. Before I knew it, murdering became a hobby. No one could figure out why so many people had been found dead; I was the only one who knew who the killer was- myself. And when I thought that, I was so proud that I was creating the life I had always wanted. One where I was in control. No one else.

The dream couldn't last forever. It was soon that I was discovered in the home of a victim, for I had spent too much time in the place, putting the final touches on their lifeless face. I found myself thrown into a strange place, filled with people I didn't know, unarmed, unprotected against humanity.

_Exposed_.

Every now and again, a person would come in... talk to me like I was a long lost friend of theirs. It was always really confusing. I didn't understand what they wanted from me. I didn't get it. I always thought that they were enemies, trying to get to my head- but it was my head that needed penetration. If someone hadn't gotten through to me, I would've been lost forever.

If someone hadn't gotten through to me, I would've lost the ability to distinguish reality from my own world.

And my world had been gradually turning in to a hell like no other.

A little later, Fran walked into the room, carrying a tray of food, which he set on a bright, yellow table, before sitting on the bed beside me. "So, eh... _Bel_," he began, looking at me with serious, teal eyes. "Since you're Mammon's good friend... did you know about me?"

I shook my head. "Never heard of you before."

The other man looked down. "He feared me," he whispered. "I'ma weird kid. He's not proud of me. He never was. Y'know, Bel... it's hell in here."

Some of his words mirrored my own, but the last sentence struck a nerve. Granted, I wasn't comfortable being told how others felt and were treated, since my own emotions were still working to balance out, yet hearing Fran's voice was soothing. His tongue in his mouth hugged each syllable, making each sentence gracefully flow past his lips. Regardless of his attitude and occasional sadistic remark, he did have quite the pretty, feminine tone to the way he spoke.

"Ne, Bel," Fran said, leaning towards me a little. His teal gaze pierced through my own as he watched my every move like a hawk, and his his hand was mere inches from being able to grip my neck as he placed it on my shoulder. "Did you kill my brother?"

"No."

_"Liar!"_

Every time I denied the accusation, Fran's eyes would momentarily flare in anger, as though the idea of me being the one behind Mammon's murder was his one truth of life. But I somehow found myself uncaring whenever he was suddenly enraged, for it always brought out the human inside him. Fran always looked like an emotionless doll, after all, so seeing him express something was always a subject to dwell on.

"I hate liars," Fran hissed, glaring at me, his fingers digging into my shoulder, but only causing a minimal amount of pain. "I hate you." Then, as if something in his mind had extinguished the fire, Fran calmed, and took a deep breath, releasing me. "I don't hate you," he sighed. "I hate _people_. Sorry if I hurt you in any way."

With that, Fran got up and walked out of the room, leaving the tray of food the table. I grinned. It seemed that Mukuro had begun to teach him the 'stick and carrot' method, which I had never bothered to use. It seemed pointless to me to come on with violence and strength, then suddenly turn into the victim's _buddy_. I mean... really. But Fran was starting small, it seemed, and I could handle it at that stage.

It was then that I realized that I could feel a faint pulse in my shoulder where his nails had dug into my skin. I reached up, and placed my hand over the wound, then looked at my hand, before sighing in relief when there was no blood. If there was anything I hated more than democrats, it was my own blood. The same blood that had been shed in the battle between twins, the same blood that I still had to share with my shadow. The blood that I shared with Rasiel.

The blood of my first kill.

**-End Chapter**

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><p>All right, all you democrats out there, do me a favor and don't take offense from that little comment, okay? Bel's monarchy-obsessed, and the author may have her opinions on the matter, but know that I meant no offense whatsoever; I was merely 'pulling a Phoenix.' Plus, I hear something about politics every day from a certain carpool buddy, and I guess it just stuck after a while. XD<p>

Please review!


	3. Touched by Cruelty

**Death Wish Chapter 3**

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><p>It was now seven days since I had been captured by Fran. Every day, I grew less weirded out by my unique environment, and more... adapted... as he had put it. He continued to walk into the room every now and again, yet I didn't notice that he kept getting closer every time.<p>

"Bel!"

I looked up from that annoying polka-dotted bed, and was met once more with Fran's teal gaze. I stared for a moment, then murmured, "Hi, Fran."

"You cool with getting a roomie?" Fran asked, coming forward and placing himself in my lap. His arms were hung loosely around my shoulders, and he leaned in so that I could feel his breath running over my cheeks. Such behavior was normal now, but I still felt a little uncomfortable with it, for every single time he did that, I couldn't help but be distracted!

"Room...mate?" I repeated, pushing him back a little. Fran frowned, and pinned me down to the bed with his arms on my shoulders, making it clear that he wasn't going to move.

"Y'know, the police found where Master's been keeping mister skylark, so he needs to move him, fast. We intend to move him here. That cool with you?" I nodded, and Fran finally backed off, and was about to leave the room, when he said, "Oh, and about my brother's murder..."

"It wasn't me," I said for the umpteenth time, "I'm sorry. It really wasn't me."

Fran suddenly held up a knife, and looked at me. "This yours?" I stared at the weapon for a good few seconds, then shivered as I saw the three dips on the top that made it perfect for creative cuts. I held out my wrist, silently telling him to show me, and Fran came over, before dragging the blade over my skin, creating a fine, red cut down my arm.. "Answer the question, Prince the Ripper," Fran hissed, his teal eyes cold as ice.

Looking up from the beads of ruby blood that welled up from the cut, I whispered, "How do you know about that?"

"Your name is infamous," Fran snarled. "I had no idea until I searched you. Now I have no doubts."

I returned my gaze to the cut in my arms, then brought my arm up and licked up the blood that had collected, before looking at Fran, and standing. "Shishi...ushishishishi...," the manic laugh crept past my lips, and I suddenly moved, grabbing the knife from Fran, before turning it and slashing it across the other's cheek. The cut was shallow, not enough for Fran to bleed.

But the moment I turned against him, Fran was fast to retaliate, and he did so by punching my arm so that I'd drop the knife, and grabbing both of my wrists, before coming in and pressing his lips against mine. The distraction was successful, and I was able to remember myself, remember my morals, but only for a moment. Insanity always prevailed over those who were right in the head; that much had always been clear. And so, as Fran's grip on my wrists loosened, I threw my arms out of the grip, and reached high enough to grab on to a crook in the low ceiling, before kicking my legs off of the ground and slamming them into Fran's chest. The younger man coughed, stumbling backwards, and I reached for my knife, then ran at him. Somehow, however, I tripped, and was thrown off into a room that I hadn't seen before. In it stood Fran's Master, and a poor, black-haired man who Mukuro must've been torturing for some time, judging from the excessive wounds on his pale skin.

Both men looked up at me when I entered, and Mukuro chuckled, standing up. "Hey, Prince the Ripper," he greeted. "What are you doing outside of your room? Oh... I see. The new defense mechanism I taught Fran must've worked. Well, now that you're here-"

"Bye-bye!" I hissed, throwing the knife at Mukuro's throat. He reached up, and caught it between his fingers, still smiling creepily. He then observed the weapon, and turned to the beaten man before him.

"Oya oya?" he said. "Kyouya, I do believe this could be a delicious tool for our game. What do you think?" He tilted the man's head up with his index finger, but the other refused to open his eyes, only lied there, panting quietly as he endured the pain of his cuts. "I think it's just gorgeous. Fufufufufu..." The illusionist held the knife like a paintbrush, then made a cut across the ravenette's cheek, making the other grit his teeth in pain, one of the only signs he gave to show that the knife's cold sting was felt.

I had lost focus on the throbbing down my arm, and I blinked, not remembering quite what I'd done in my moment of insanity. Where was I? Where was Fran? In moments like this, I had always been buried in my best friend's chest, letting him soothe me until I'd calmed down. But my best friend was dead.

My best friend was Mammon, and Mammon was dead.

A moment of loss was taken in, before I tuned back in to the scene before me. "What the hell are you doing to that poor man?" I shouted, before covering my mouth. What was I thinking, scolding Mukuro like I would a child? Was I crazy? (Well... maybe I was, a little.) Mukuro spared me a glance, then chuckled, before plunging the knife that I had once used into the man's shoulder. The other gave a low groan in pain, clenching his fists as he struggled to sit upright. It was clear to me that he shared my 'never lose' pride, and in that moment, I truly pitied him.

"Fufu~, of course, I'm giving Kyouya here what he deserves- torture. He's never done good for the world, anyway. He's as disgusting as myself, maybe even worse. He has no soul."

'Kyouya' opened his eyes, which were a dark gray color, and looked at Mukuro, quivering slightly. "I've never done anything so detestable as this. This is all you," he rasped, his stare blank and cold with the dullness of a life he'd given up on.

"Master! Did my princess stumble into your lair? Please give him and or her back!" The emotionless voice was just what I needed to hear. I immediately turned around to see Fran, and my heart almost burst when I realized his close resemblence to Mammon. I instantly went to him for comfort, and hugged him tightly, resting my head on his chest, and remembering Mammon as I did so. "Oh. Nevermind, I'm good," Fran said. "C'mon, Bel-hime (hee-may. 'Princess'), let's go back to your room..."

"Mammon...," I breathed. "If you aren't him... then please... push me back... Mammon..."

"N'aw, lookit you, saying my brother's name so that it almost sounds like 'mama.' You're kinda cute, Bel-hime," Fran said, weaving his fingers into my hair and rubbing the back of my head. "Maybe I won't subject you to rooming with Hibari."

"No way we're changing that plan, Fran!" Mukuro snapped. I could hear just the tiniest, shortest chuckle pass through Fran's lips, then waited for his reply.

"Sure thing, Master." I was led out of that wretched place by an arm around my shoulders, and we soon got back into 'my' room, and Fran sat me down on the bed. "You really regret it, huh?" Fran asked. "Killing my brother..."

"I didn't kill him," I whispered. "I could never kill him..."

"Which would explain why you block out the memory," Fran answered. "Come on, Bel. I won't be mad."

His hand on my back was as soothing as being faced with a wolf. I didn't kill Mammon, but if I did, I'd probably snap from all the pressure Fran had put on the matter. I would never do that! Mammon was my one and only friend!

Suddenly, my phone rang for the first time in more than a week. I answered it right away, as Fran watched, also suprised by the ringing. "Hello?"

("VOOOOOOOOOOOIIII! BEL, YOU BASTARD!")

I held the phone away from me as I heard the loud scream, then answered, "Squalo...?"

("WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? MAMMON? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?")

"Oh, I don't know! I was kidnapped by Mammon's brother-" I stopped talking when I saw that the phone in my palm had been closed, then followed the finger that had closed it back to Fran.

"There'll be none of that, Bel-hime," Fran said. "There will only be you, me, and the occassional pineapple-headed fairy. Got it?" I nodded, entranced by the patronizing, teal gaze, then allowed Fran to come closer, our noses touching as our breath mingled, when he stopped his approach, and whispered, "You're a killer, right? So I better keep you away from people."

"Fran...," I began, but when my eyes trailed to the lavender markings around his eyes, the only sound I could make was a faint whine of sadness. Mammon was gone, and his only relative that I knew of was this man in front of me. I realized that Fran and Mammon could be the same, and my attempt to keep things realistic vanished in a second. I loved Mammon. I refused to lose him.

No matter what it took, I would mold Fran into the man I needed.

Fran would replace him, and mend my broken heart.

_Yes_.

There was no other way.

"Bel-hime?" Fran murmured, his eyes questioning. "You all right?"

I placed my hands on his shoulders, and breathed, "Will you be my Mammon?"

"Seriously, Bel, you say that just like 'mama,'" Fran said, taking my hands off of him and placing his own in his lap. "And no. I won't be a replacement for a man you killed."

With that, Fran took his leave, and I stared after him, sadness filling my eyes.

I was beginning to wonder if I had actually done it. If I was Mammon's killer... the sadness would be so strong, it would be noxious to my weak mental composition. If I was Mammon's killer, I didn't deserve to live.

If that was actually the case... I deserved to die... by his brother's hand.

**-End Chapter**

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><p>So... uhhh... Does anyone else want me to make this rated M? I mean... if it has so much potential... who'm I to deny you that?<p>

It's up to you!

Please Review!


	4. A Trace of Affection

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Four: A Trace of Affection**

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><p>It was now twelve days since I had been captured by Fran. I now shared a room with a poor fellow named Hibari Kyoya, who didn't seem like much of a people's man. He was cold, both socially and physically, and always seemed to have a reason to be angry. Mukuro occassionally came in to see him, but every time, I had to look away, or be disturbed by some harsh sadistic plays.<p>

Today, he finally said something to me.

"You're a killer?" he asked.

"I used to be," I answered, forcing myself to look over at the black-haired, Japanese man. Our eyes met, and I almost couldn't take it. His piercing, gray eyes stunned me, for they looked like those of a trapped bird who's wings have been clipped and who's talons have been cut down. They were sharp blades of steel, frosted over with hatred and rage, staring at me with a cruelty that rivaled those of my former killing buddy.

"Are you like him?" he asked, his thin black eyebrows lowered as he watched my every move.

"Him?" I repeated.

"Like Mukuro Rokudo," he clarified. I shook my head.

"No. I may have used to been like him, but definitely not now," I answered. "Why does he treat you so badly?"

Hibari looked away, then walked over and sat down on the bed, but still kept distance from me. "I think it's because I rivaled his strength, a while ago."

"Huh...?"

"Mukuro and I used to be on the same physical training program. It was... part martial-arts, part working out, part dieting, it was all meant to make me stronger. It wasn't like... body building, or anything like that. Just... a strength program. He was enrolled in it, too, but his shortcomings became apparent. He wasn't build for physical labor, and I was. So... one day, he just sort of took me away to this place, and he's been doing this ever since, as if to prove to the world and himself that he can be strong."

"All right," I said, watching as the raven-haired male stood and walked back to the seat which had sort of become his territory.

"Sometimes, I wonder if it would be more worthwhile to end my own life," he muttered. "But such would be a waste."

"It would be," I returned. "You've been holding out really well."

Hibari snorted, and curled up on the small, neon-striped couch. "It's just life," he breathed, before closing his eyes. I blinked, then smiled when it looked as though Hibari was snoozing lightly. He was right. It was just life.

Suddenly, Fran walked into the room, and signaled for me to follow him out. I hesitated right away, because I hadn't a clue what he had in store for me, and I also wasn't sure how safe it would be to follow that guy. But the Mammon in his face won me over, and I stood, then followed him out of the room, leaving Hibari asleep as a thick fog rolled into the room. Fran took me along through his 'illusion training room' for a while, me having to cling to him in order to maintain a grip on my senses.

"Where are we going?" I asked, biting my lip as we navigated through the unreal environment.

"Out," Fran replied, suddenly making a turn and throwing me off balance. Though suprised, I easily got back upright, and Fran and I both started towards what looked somewhat like a door. His one-word answer suddenly made sense, and I grinned as we continued towards the door. But then, Fran turned, and opened the _wall_, not the _door_.

I should've known.

"All right, Bel-hime," Fran said, pulling me outside. I looked back at the building as we left it, and gasped to see that behind us was nothing more than a mountainside. However, I had no time to wonder how the hell that had happened, because Fran was tugging on my arm in a manner as though he was growing impatient with me.

I sighed, and followed him once more, wondering where we were headed. I looked around for hints, but I couldn't quite recognize where we were. It looked sort of like a forest, but the occassional pair of letters in a tree made it clear that we weren't far from civilization. It wasn't too long before we came out on what looked like a town, but I still didn't know just which town this was. "Fran, uh... where...?" I asked.

"Master's hometown, I guess," Fran answered, shrugging. "All I know is that there's a really nice park around here..." I let Fran lead me through the town, then smiled when the younger man seemed to have made a big discovery. "It's not far from here," he said, speeding up his pace slightly. I almost wanted to laugh and pat him on the head when we approached a children's park, but I knew better than to do so when Fran was involved. It was just a bad idea. Just when I expected Fran to drag me over to the swings, he walked over towards the trees, and headed into them. I hesitantly continued behind him, but I was soon rewarded for my patience. We came out at a pond, and Fran walked over to the far side of it, before sitting down on the rocks on the opposite end.

Seeing him sit at the edge of a pond with his legs folded was a very amusing sight for me. He almost looked like he belonged there, with his teal hair and eyes. "Well, c'mon, Bel-hime, don't just stand there," Fran said, gesturing to the rocks beside him. I sighed, and made my way around the pond, then sat down beside him. Almost immediately, Fran shoved me from behind, and I yelped as I fell right into the pond. That thing was deeper than I'd thought, as I found myself completely submerged for a moment before I could feel soft dirt and plants beneath me. Immediately, I sat upright, and, trying to ignore the perfectly-placed lily pad on my head, I glared at Fran.

It was hard to stay angry, however, when I saw that he was sincerely laughing for the first time I'd ever seen. The markings beneath his eyes almost emphasized his smile, and the serious deadpan seemed like a distant memory now. I stared at him for a moment, simply dumbstruck by the sound of his light, feminine laugh, but I soon lost to the soaked clothes I was wearing. "Fran," I started. "What did you do that for?"

Almost instantly, his relaxed expression changed into the typical expressionless mask. "'Cause you deserved it," he told me. "Fake-prince-san."

I blushed in embarassment and got myself out of the water, then sat down beside Fran, and shivered at the instant cold. "All right," I said quietly. "I'll accept that."

Fran placed a hand on my shoulder, leaned in, and kissed my cheek. The moment was brief, but I was comforted by it, although I could hardly prevent myself from growing redder than I already was. "Bel-hime," Fran began, his hand moving to my back. "Do you become nervous when I touch you?" I weighed the consequences of answering, but found that not answering would probably be worse. That in mind, I nodded, and Fran asked another question. "Is it because I look like my brother?" I stared at him, suprised that he'd figured that out so easily. Still, when I thought about it, that was a pretty obvious thing. I nodded again. Fran then sighed, and looked down. "So basically, you think of Mammon whenever I touch you. How pervy, Bel-hime. Did you even know that my brother had a girlfriend?"

"What?" I shouted, turning to him. "No way!" The mere thought of Mammon having someone else made me feel sick. I must've liked him more than I had originally thought, though, because it seemed as if I was experiencing jealousy.

"So you didn't know," Fran muttered. "Che. Thought I'd gotten the reason."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, still frustrated.

"A reason for you to kill him," Fran answered, folding his arms. "It would make perfect sense. You got jealous. So you did the only thing you knew how to do with your emotions." With that, Fran drew a finger over his throat, and I shook my head.

"No," I said. "I didn't even know... I never would've suspected that he even had a girlfriend... Mind if I ask... who?"

"Master's sister," Fran answered. "She's not as sexy as Master says she is, though."

"MUKURO'S SISTER?" I yelled, gripping my head as I struggled to understand. "NO WAY!"

"Yes way," the other replied coolly. "Her name's Chrome."

Suddenly, I remembered Mammon telling me that he couldn't hang out due to a 'date' with Chrome. I didn't know who she was, nor did I care. I thought that 'date' meant literally a 'date'. A scheduled appointment! Not... not that kind of date! I could feel the fiery envy in my chest and I hung my head, trying to stay strong. Mammon was dead now, after all, so did it really matter? "How long?" I asked.

"Hm?"

"How long were they together?" I asked.

"Eh. Three years tops," Fran replied.

'So I had already met Mammon by time they started going out,' I thought bitterly. 'That means he never felt anything for me like I did for him.'

"Ne, Bel-hime... you don't need to worry about it, right?" Fran murmured. "'Cause now you've got me."

I looked at him, and my eyes almost played tricks on me, everything about him seem more like his brother. "Fran... please...," I breathed, holding out my hand, "comfort me..."

His eyes brightened as he took my hand, but then he jerked me towards the pond, and I fell in for a second time. When I managed to get my head out of the water once more, he chuckled. "Sorry, Bel-hime. It was just too tempting."

There were an awful lot of differences to look past, but when I tried, I could really see Mammon in Fran.

When we got back to the mountainside that concealed the illusion-training room, Fran said that he'd help me get washed off, and, even though I told him I was capable of showering on my own, I think that was the most 'Mammon' thing he'd done yet.

And every day, I began to like Fran more.

**-End Chapter**

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><p>:P Here we are!<p>

All right, since there's a little contraversey, I'm going to ask you this: **Is it okay if I change to M, but mostly for violence?** Pretty much, there would be **not a lot of lemon**, but **a lot more 6918 stuff,** and **probably a lot more crazed Bel-senpai-hime.** What do you think?

Please Review!


	5. A Wisp of Magic

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Five: A Wisp of Magic**

OKAY! Death Wish rating will be changed to M, but for violence! There will still be fluff sprinkled throughout (because as we all know, I love the fluff,) and I will put in a warning if there is any lemon! :D Win, win, win, win, win, nee? Lol... I try to make everyone happy. Sometimes that doesn't work, but I really try.

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><p>It was now fourteen days since I had been captured by Fran.<p>

"Uhh, Hibari," I said, placing a hand on the raven-haired man's shoulder. Hibari's eyes opened so fast, I thought that he'd been awake the entire time, but he then relaxed, sat up, and yawned, disproving that theory.  
>"What is it, Belhime?" he asked, his voice tired.<p>

"Uh... it's just Bel... my name's actually Belphegor," I said.

"Oh... sorry," he apologized. I twitched. So Fran said my name like that so often that Hibari thought it was my name? God, that was embarassing. "Still... what do you want?"

"Uh... that wound... on your wrist," I said, indicating to his hand. "What's that from?"

"Very tight rope," he answered, giving the wound a death glare as if he expected it to go away when he did so. "It was HIS fault."

"Ah..."

I was growing used to Hibari's constant wounds, but every time I saw a new one, I just had to wonder whether I would soon be wounded with something similar. Fran was a bit of a sadist, although I wasn't so sure he'd take it as far as Mukuro often did. "Hey... I've been meaning to ask...," Hibari muttered, looking back up at me. "Since you used to murder people... are you strong?"

"... Well... uh...," I began with a reluctant tone, "yes and no? It's mostly quickness that enabled me to kill..."

"Strong enough to take on Mukuro?" Hibari asked.

"Eh... probably not," I answered. Hibari hung his head.

"If only that bastard would just die," he hissed. "Then maybe I could be free..."

"Oya oya? Little skylark wants to have himself a revolution?" spoke a deep voice. Hibari grunted, and sat upright.

"He's coming," he breathed. "Don't watch, herbivore."

Now used to Hibari's abnormal way of speaking, I nodded, and turned away, and it wasn't long after that I could hear pained groans and sadistic laughter from behind me. Usually, when Mukuro was in the mood to play with his victim, Fran would walk in and take me somewhere. But I hadn't seen him at all today.

"Kyouya, look into my eyes... does it hurt?"

"Of course it does, bastard, it always hu-"

"Shh... all I needed was a 'yes' or 'no,' Kyouya... fufufu~."

I sighed and blocked out the sounds, then thought about Mammon. How he'd always been so kind and gentle... and THEN, the voice of my counseler popped into my mind.

_Flashback_...

"Bel-channn! Oh, Bel-chaannn! Dinner's here~!" he hummed, swinging into my room and placing the tray of food on the nearby table. I continued to sit in the chair, and stared at the other man blankly, making him chuckle. "Don't tell me I have to force-feed you, Bel-chan~."

"No... you don't," I sighed, picking up the tray and playing with the potatoes with my fork.

"Hey, listen. Another boy who's a lot like you is going to come by here, all right?" Lussuria said, kneeling down beside me. "A kid named Squalo. He and another boy are making an organization for the little killers who change. They call themselves the Varia! What do you think?"

"I'll think later, I'll eat now," I answered. "Go 'way."

"Ah, ah~, call me by my name, and I'll leave."

"Go 'way, Luss..."

"Luss who?"

"I'm not calling you mother Luss, get out!" I shouted. Lussuria smiled, patted me on the head, and left, leaving an irritated me in his wake.

While I was hinting at having a little sanity, society was still something that bothered me. I was having a lot of trouble just talking to others, and I didn't know how it would go, even with fellow murderers. Frankly, I had an even harder time talking with them, 'cause the most of them scared the crap out of me.

But a few days later, I had become a member of the Varia.

_End Flashback._

I still associated with the Varia, frequently in fact. Squalo had been a friend of mine, and he had helped me out of _my_ world to show me _the_ world. He frequently took me out to dinner, but it was just that every time. It wasn't intimate, or even brotherly. We were mere friends, if that. Besides, I always got the sense that Squalo was more intrested in the other boy, Xanxus.

"Hey, Bel-hime, your prince is here," spoke a monotonous voice from behind me. I turned, and blushed when Fran suddenly came up and kissed me, and, as though he was purposely blocking out the S&M plays going on behind him, the world around us became considerably dark. All I knew were his lips against mine as I wrapped my arms around the younger man's neck, and I slowly became entranced by the intimate connection of our mouths as we became extremely close. I shut my eyes, then, and, before I knew it, I was in what looked like a dream.

He was standing a few yards before me, his teal eyes bright as he gazed into mine, and I blushed lightly, before murmuring, "You're so much like your brother."

The world around me suddenly became darker, and Fran said, "Keep talking, Bel-hime. But this time, try to say something that'll make me smile."

I paused, a bit confused, then sat down on the ground. "You're cuter," I said. "Cuter than Mammon." Once more, the world darkened, and I felt a spike of fear, for what if this dream should turn black? I would be blinded, and Fran would easily be able to do whatever he wanted with me. "Er... I... I'm a princess!" When the world suddenly lightened, I stared at Fran, both offended and slightly humiliated, and I decided that this could only be accomplished by defiling myself. Trying to block out my pride, I said, "Fran, you're so much hotter than me! Really, in comparison to you, I'm just-"

"I like where your going, but don't kid yourself," Fran said, taking a couple steps closer to me. "You're a thousand times sexier than I'll ever be."

I flushed red when he said that with so little hesitation, then murmured, "I'm a murderer." The sky moved a few shades up this time, and I stared at Fran for a moment, before starting to focus on that topic. "I constantly make cuts along their face, always trying to show off my secretive taste for art, ushishi!" I cried, grinning. I was making progress, and so I continued. "Every day, every night, at least once will I thrust a knife in their body to the hilt! At least one heart is harvested a week!"

"And who was your latest victim?" Fran asked.

I was about to announce that my last victim had been a gardener who had mistaken me for a woman, but then, I remembered what it was that Fran wanted to hear. "Mammon! Mammon was my last victim!" I announced proudly.

"How did you kill him?" Fran asked, taking a few more steps closer. The shining teal in his eyes convinced me of what I had to say, and I gave an insane laugh, holding my arms out as I described what I could in detail.

"I slit his throat with one fell slash!" I cried. "It was so amazing, the blood splattering my face and clothing, and then, just as I thought it couldn't get any better, I kissed him! Ushishi! His dying face was so pretty, I couldn't even mark it with my knives after I'd made the kill!"

Fran's smile at that moment made me grin as well, but then, Fran stepped up close, and grabbed my wrists in his hands. "You're a sick bastard," he hissed in a venomously sweet voice. "And I love you for it."

He came and kissed me again, but this time, I just stared, stunned, for I had realized what I'd said to Fran. I had confessed to the murder of his brother, and now... he was kissing me? No, that wasn't right! He had to hate me for it. This... there was something terribly wrong.

But then, when I awoke again, I wasn't alone in the bed. Fran was there, snuggled right up next to me, still smiling. My arm was around his body, my hand on his hip, and his arms were hung around my body in a relaxed embrace.

No.

It had to be a trick.

-**End Chapter**

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><p>Kinda cliffish? Idk. But here's the next chappy! :)<p>

Please Review!


	6. My Buried Memories

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Six: My Buried Past**

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><p>As I sighed, my breath ruffled Fran's hair, and I instantly shut my mouth in fear of awakening him. Hibari lay in his seat on the other side of the room, tending to the cut wounds that had recently bloomed over his pale skin. Every time I glanced at his broken body, I saw the victims whom I had buried with my knives so many times. The pain that I had once caused others I now saw Mukuro inflicting on the man I shared a room with. It only made my stay here more painful.<p>

I looked down at Fran, then blushed as I realized that he must've been awake, for his soft lips suddenly touched my shoulder, and he bit down so softly that it stunned me. "I love you, Bel-hime," whispered the feminine voice as it brushed against my skin. "I love you... you maniac..."

"Uh... Fran...," I started. He glanced up at me, and I gulped, then closed my eyes tightly when he leaned up and kissed me. After a slow, sensual kiss, he backed up, and smirked at me, as if pressing for me to go on. "I... uh... well... I didn't kill your brother... uh... I just... told you that... because you wanted to hear it."

"Shh," Fran hushed, placing a finger over my lips. "You don't want to play around with me, Bel-hime... if you do, I'm going to have to punish you."

Suddenly, a thick, white mist rolled into the room. "Oh, Fran, fufufu~, you're growing to become like me..."

Fran snorted, sitting up, and frowned when Mukuro materialized. "Damn it, Master, can't you see I was busy _bonding?"_ he snarled. The venom in his voice actually startled me- I'd never heard him talk to his master in such an angered voice. Not to mention how 'Fran' he'd been acting just moments ago.

"Fufu... but Fran, I felt the abrupt urge to hang out with my dear _boyfriend_," Mukuro replied, gazing at Hibari with creepy eyes. The other man merely frowned, not sparing Mukuro a word, and the two had a short standoff, but Hibari soon gave in, and stood, before taking the older man's outstretched hand. "Fufufu... that's a good Kyouya...," Mukuro hissed. "That's such a dear Kyouya..."

"Shut up and get it over with," Hibari muttered, gesturing to himself. "I'd rather not have you mess around."

"But Kyouya, I want to go out today," Mukuro laughed, before dragging the other away, leaving me and Fran alone. After a somewhat awkward pause, Fran looked back at me, and smirked.

"What is it?" I asked, trying not to feel uncomfortable.

"Oh, just that you're so cute," Fran replied, reaching over and caressing my cheek. "Tell me... what did it feel like when the knife cut his throat, Bel-hime?"

I gulped. I didn't want to say anything, but as if under a spell, I told Fran what he wanted without much reluctance. "It was ecstasy," I whispered. "When the blood and I met, it was the most pleasurable thing I've ever engaged in."

"So then...," Fran started, his hand now on my shoulder as he leaned in closer. "Make any special cuts to show that he was yours?"

"... A heart," I murmured. "A heart, right over his, with the letter 'B' inside it."

"Don't be scared," Fran soothed, "you can tell me anything, Bel... Now, if you saw the body at the funeral, you would've seen that his wrist was slashed to the bone. I presume this was also one of your cuts?"

I felt sick, but still, I nodded, as if hypnotized by Fran's gentle touch. I found my voice, and backed it with strength, before saying as clear as I could, "I made that cut because he had never loved me with those hands."

"Heh... How nice," Fran hissed, before leaning in and kissing me.

I hated it. Whenever he was flirty and serious, it just tore me up inside, because both my mental and emotional stability were on the verge of collapsing. I would say something about killing Mammon, and, even though it hurt me, Fran only responded to it with affection. It was twisting me. I felt as though I was going to break down into my old self at any moment, and that would only make things worse, because Fran would have everything he needed to throw me into prison.

_Y'know... I'd been in prison before..._

_Dark walls... the screams of distant people, driving you crazy as you tried to see what was happening, but the bars were too close together, and you could only see out through a small, barred window. All around you was winding, unending fortresses of stone, imprisoning you within their dark walls as the ground below shook with your fear._

_And then, another would come. You would be trapped with someone like you, insane, murderous, and the entire scene would become fate. Shouting in agony, you would be slaughtered by a fellow killer, but the world would never be able to hear your screams. It would be silent revenge for all the sins you had committed._

I shuttered as those thoughts crossed my mind. They were the thoughts that I had had during my stay in a prison, my arms dangling out of the stone window, my face pressed up to it as I yearned for light. I would laugh and yell whenever someone passed by, rattling the bars as I desperately tried to escape. Every time, it had been futile, but the stay didn't help me- it made me worse.

And when that Levi guy came into the cell with me? I was flat-out terrified. He was an older man- probably just in his twenties, but... he scared me half to death! He had all these piercings in random places, and his hair was spiked out, and formed into lightning-bolt sideburns. When he came in, I had been sure of my destiny. This guy was definitely gonna kill me. There had been no doubt of that.

It was an hour shy of a day afterwards that I was dragged out of my cell, hands cuffed behind my back, and shoved along for miles until I reached the room in which my life would be transformed, for inside was a man by the name of Lussuria, who talked to me like my mother might've, had I known her.

Fran at last broke the kiss, and stared at me a little odd. "Not kissin' back today, Bel-hime? Anything wrong?"

"No...," I sighed, bringing my knees closer so that Fran wasn't so... _right there._ "It's nothing."

The younger man smiled- honestly _smiled_- and brushed a hand over my cheek once more. "S'okay, Bel... let it out. You can tell me everything."

A Mammon with the underlying comfort of Lussuria. I could appreciate it. "Well... I'm just... remembering some things," I mumbled.

"Tell me everything," Fran whispered.

I took a deep breath, let it out, then began my story. "I was taken out of prison one day, and brought to this man called Lussuria..."

_Flashback..._

"Now, your name is Bel, right?" he said, smiling brightly. "I heard you really like to draw."

"Where the hell did you hear that?" I asked, wrinkling up my nose in disgust. "I like to _KILL_."

"Hohoho~, I know that. But since you've been so... huu... _creative_ with your knives, I think you would like a lot of _arts_, too."

I stared at him, having already lost my grip on real life, and shook my head. "I don' get it," I mumbled. Suddenly, he handed me a pad and pencil, and said, "Go ahead, Bel-chan. Draw something."

"What?"

"Anything will do."

I blinked, then touched the pencil to paper, and before I knew it, I was actually drawing. The pencil seemed to move on itself, and before I knew it, a grin had crossed my face, and I was enjoying myself. I could feel a pleased blush cross my face as I swept the pencil up and outward, then sketched in a blood splatter on the vase of roses. After adding in a couple finishing touches, I passed it back to Lussuria. He looked at it, inspected it, then nodded as if approving. "Very pretty, Bel-chan~," he praised. "Now, can you recreate this entire scene, and not include the blood splatter?"

It took three attempts, but finally, I had drawn the vase and roses- and included a few daffodils for my own peace of mind. When I finally gave it back to him again, he nodded, then applauded the drawing. "My, Bel-chan! This is exactly it! Great job!"

Things continued like that for a while. I spent long days in that office, talking to Lussuria and drawing all day, then sleeping soundly on the couch all night, my arms draped over a pillow as I dreamed about the life ahead, and what it would someday bring. Night after night, I dreamt about that distant concept of love, wondering if I would ever find someone who was kind enough to let me decorate their body with cuts on a regular basis.

I soon dropped that hope, however, because I was told that there was a possibility that my life would never be entirely normal.

_I had been crushed._

_-End Flashback._

I wiped at my eyes, angry at myself for tearing up in front of Fran, and I hid my face in my hands, ashamed of myself. I had truly thought that I would find a lover who would let me take out my sick obsession on their innocent life. Those thoughts no longer occured to me as possibility, but a disgusting fantasy of sorts.

"Ne, Bel-hime... I'm gonna tell you something now," Fran said, sitting back on the bed. "Once upon a time... there was a young boy named Fran, who lived with his brother Mammon. They both lived in the hills, a peaceful life... but then, one day, a man showed up. He called himself Gola Moska. He was a big man, tall, and muscular, bearing dark hair that was beginning to gray, and he was also a chain smoker. Over his eyes, he wore sunglasses, and never took them off, as if scared of people seeing what they hid- a _monster_.

"Yes, Gola Moska was a man nurtured on the thought that all people were to be hated, and he always walked around with weapons and high defense. He'd never be caught without a bullet-proof vest on. His face was as ugly as his heart, but his eyes were as beautiful as his soul. When he came up to the mountains, he was already a fugitive, running to escape the law. Mammon and his brother had heard of the bounty on Gola's head, and they were rather poor. But when I- er- _Fran_ insisted that they ought to capture him, Mammon shook his head, and signaled for the man to go ahead and leave. Fran complained, saying that they desperately needed the money, but Mammon leaned over, and whispered into his ear, 'I love money, Fran. But this guy deserves a life. What if it was you on the run? You could either be set free to start a new life, or-' And then, Fran interrupted, to say, 'No! He'll only get caught by someone else!' Mammon chuckled, but shook his head once more. He refused to catch a man on the run."

I stared at Fran, then murmured, "Would you catch a man on the run? Today, I mean?"

"Heh. I no longer need money. Not since Mukuro took me in. Or rather... since he took _us_ in. Mukuro was already tormenting Hibari when we met him, and he offered to let us stay, so of course- I mean, we'd just lost our house to the government, so it wasn't like we had much choice. But when Mammon found out about Mukuro's... habits... he took flight on the spot. He didn't want to be living with a sadistic man like Mukuro. He didn't even offer to take me, though. He knew that he and I were different... he hated me..."

"I'm sure he didn't hate you," I murmured, reaching a hand out. Fran recoiled from my touch, then shook his head.

"He did. He hated me," he insisted. "Mukuro was the first person to ever care about me!"

I felt a strong urge to hug and comfort that man, but I didn't. I suppressed it, not wanting to show Fran any affection, when I realized something.

I already felt too much attatchment to him.

And he would probably use that to destroy me.

**-End Chapter**

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><p>*insert pleased music note here*<p>

Lalala, keep on reviewin', peoples~


	7. Losing Control

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Seven: Losing Control**

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><p>It was now twenty days since I had been captured by Fran.<p>

"Bel," Hibari rasped, lifting a broken hand up as though waving me over. I walked up to him, biting my lip, and helped him to his feet, but immediately, he slumped against me, panting. "I'm going to lose it," he whispered. "My mind is at it's limit... as well as my body... and when I die here... I want you to remember who did this..."

"Hibari, you're not going to die," I murmured, trying to rub his back in a soothing manner as he trembled against me. "You're gonna be all right... I promise, we'll get out of here together..."

"No... no, I can't handle much more," he sighed. "I hate to admit it, but this is all I can handle. I can't take any more. Of this, I have no doubt."

"Should I tell Fran to tell Mukuro to lay off?" I asked uncertainly. He shook his head.

"It won't work. It'll never work. He won't stop."

I was nervous just to see the man break down like this. He wasn't crying, even whimpering; his voice was still strong, but his body was quivering in a way resembling that of an abused puppy. Yet, to think of how long he had been locked away in this wretched place, tortured every day and night, such a thought was so horrible that it made me tremble with his pain.

"Hibari... calm down," I whispered, stroking down his back. "Shh... it's all right."

"Don't touch me!" he barked, backing up. "It's already too painful... every nerve in my body hurts. The pain is..."

"So good," I said in a small voice.

"Hn?"

"The pain is so good," I murmured. "Your pain... is _beautiful_..."

Hibari yelped in pain when I threw a punch into his stomach, then lied on the ground, shocked. "You... you just..."

I'd lost it. I suddenly couldn't control myself. The second Hibari opened up to me, I had to attack, but faintly, in the back of my head, I could hear myself, screaming for me to stop. I couldn't. I wouldn't. As I rained blows mercilessly on his already weak body, I could feel the sick excitement rising in the back of my head, and I grew more exalted at a rapid pace, for my fists were soon stained by his blood- his blood which had emerged from the wounds that had reopened on his pale flesh. He cried out helplessly when I collided with a broken rib, and I grinned the old insane way, looking at the trembling face that I was presented with.

"You scared, Hibari?" I snarled. "Let me see your pain... let me see all of it...! Ushishishishi!"

Suddenly, he reached up, and swept my bangs aside, showing me an expression of pure shock. "Your eyes," he rasped.

"What about them, peasant?" I giggled.

"They're... just like-"

"Bad Bel-hime! Bad bad _bad!_ Get _back!"_ Fran scolded, running into the room, holding one of my old knives in his hand. Distracted, I rushed at Fran, and behind me, Mukuro swooped in and grabbed Hibari before I could cause him any more harm. Meanwhile, Fran threw the knife behind him, and, in one easy move, had me pinned to the bed, using both his body and mouth to keep me in place. As Fran kissed me, I slowly calmed down, and my heartbeat began to settle, before I wrapped my arms around Fran's neck, pulling him closer. But today was... strange.

It was very abrupt, but I suddenly felt waves of heavy emotion directed towards Fran, and I pushed him back, then gasped out his name in a voice unlike myself. "F-Fran!"

"Bel...," Fran answered, reaching up and combing through my hair. "Bel, I love you."

"I... I love you too, Fran!" I said as if under a spell.

Fran moved me, easing me on to the bed, then lifted my shirt up slightly and smirked. "What's with the moon-shaped birthmark, Bel-hime?"

I blushed. "You're asking me?"

Fran snickered in reply, drawing his finger over the mark that I shared with my first kill. The touch was light, and it tortured me with it's gentility that was remniscient of a feather, but I endured, as if knowing that it would get better. But... it didn't get better. Fran didn't do as expected, instead, he left my shirt in place, and embraced me, his body lying over mine as he stroked through my hair with his soft hands. "Hehe~, pervy Bel-hime... I know that's not a rock I'm feelin' in your trousers..."

Although embarassed by Fran's remark, I placed my arms around his waist, and sighed, whispering, "I already feel so much for you, Fran."

"You've got it all wrong, Bel," Fran murmured against my ear. "That role belongs to me."

I didn't quite understand what he meant at the time- though I was hardly even listening. After all, this position had gotten me to thinking again... remembering... flashing back to the Varia again...

_Squalo stood against the wall, his face red as Xanxus held him there, and as the leader of the Varia slowly undid the buttons of Squalo's jacket with his teeth, the shark trembled in anticipation. That night, I'd witnessed a few things that I would've liked to unsee, but it didn't matter. After all, I knew how Squalo and Xanxus were for one another. It was just that... I could never understand. Why could they love? Why couldn't I?_

Yes. Why couldn't I love, too? Why did they get all the affection? What was different?

They were a pair. I didn't have anybody to be with. I only had onesided attatchments to people; never did I share a mutual, loving relationship with anyone. But suddenly, I saw love in my reach, and, like light at the end of a tunnel, it made me nearly cry with happiness. Fran. I could be with Fran. The question remained, however, if Fran was willing to be like this with me. I had had my hopes up when Fran had pinned me down and kissed me, but it seemed as though his intentions weren't what I had longed for. And so, I continued to lie there, Fran starting to doze off as he lied on my chest, and I too, grew weary...

* * *

><p>When Hibari came back a while later, after Fran had left, he looked at me warily, as though somewhat afraid. "Well? Am I speaking to Belphegor right now? Or Prince the Ripper?" he asked.<p>

"Belphegor," I replied. "I'm so sorry, Hibari, uh... my mind is... at its limit as well."

"Great," he spat, sitting down on the bed. "So you're just losing to this freaky, murderer side of you, huh?"

"Yeah... I guess."

Hibari snorted, then leaned over towards me. "I'll tell you a secret, all right? Because I don't want to be stuck alone in a room with another maniac. Close your eyes."

"What is it?"

"The secret to maintaining your sanity every day, is this."

I felt something land in my hand, and I opened my eyes. In my palm was a cherry flower, fully bloomed, but all alone. "Uh..."

"That blossom will never die," Hibari told me. "And the aroma it gives off helps to calm the mind. I, personally, can't stand them. I happen to have... eh... allergies. But you're fine. Ask me anytime, and I can get you more of those. I know where Mukuro keeps them."

Although extremely confused, I agreed silently. "But what do I do with it?"

"Just hold on to it in your pocket. This is one of Mukuro's tricks. It hinders my abilities, but it will only soothe you." With that, Hibari leaned in, and his voice was very soft as he murmured, "You have to be sane while I'm alive, or I'll only die faster."

"... All right, Hibari," I answered in an equally quiet voice. "Let's get through this together."

He smirked. "You're really an herbivore on the inside, hm?"

I shrugged and laughed it off, but in all honesty, I felt glad to know that he was on my side, even though I had attacked him earlier. I put the cherry blossom in my pants pocket, and watched as Hibari stalked back to the chair in the far corner, wincing when I saw the slight drag in his left foot. It was then that Fran reentered the room. "Hey, Bel-hime," he greeted, sitting down on the edge of the bed, a notepad and pencil in his hands. "Stay really still for a bit, okay?"

I did as told, watching boredly as Fran swept the pencil over his notepad with certain sharpness, creating a scratching sound that tempted me to steal the notepad from him and show him how it was done. As he worked, however, my curiosity swelled, and I eventually asked, "What are you drawing, Fran?"

"You," Fran replied simply. "Stay still."

"Why are you drawing me?"

"'Cause I like your body. Stay _still_."

I blushed at his words, but forced myself to do as told, in fear of messing up something that involved me, Fran, and pencil-to-paper action. As I thought of the bangs that covered my face, hiding the eyes that I only hid for my own selfish reasons, I began to wonder if I should brush my bangs back. But the second I reached up to do so, Fran hit my nose with the eraser of his pencil, using accuracy and speed that wasn't much far from that of a cat. "Fran," I murmured. "I want to show you... uh..."

"Show me what?" Fran asked, staring at my face with his piercing, emotionless eyes. "More moon-shaped birthmarks?"

"No... my... my eyes," I murmured. Fran sighed, then leaned over, and pushed my bangs up, then gasped, recoiling. He covered his mouth as though astonished by what he saw, and I blinked, confused. "What? What is it?"

"No... uh... n-nothing," Fran replied, burying himself in his book once more. I shyly took to watching Hibari as I wondered what it was that had made Fran so shocked, then quietly remembered that my fellow prisoner had said something odd, too, when he saw my eyes. He'd told me that they were 'just like' someone's. But... just like _who's_, exactly?

**-End Chapter**

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><p>*flaps hands* It's stiiiill a mysssteryyy!<p>

Please Review!


	8. Draw it Out

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Eight: Draw it Out**

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><p>It was now twenty five days since I had been captured by Fran.<p>

My mentality would bounce between sanity and insanity randomly now, more often the latter than the former, and Hibari now tried to avoid me as much possible. Because of this, I noticed that he would go with Mukuro whenever the older illusionist wanted him. Those two began to bond as Fran and I gradually grew more distant, and I was getting lonlier by the day as I let my wild side control me.

On this day, I was lying in bed, fantasizing just as I used to all the time, when Hibari threw open the door and approached me. "Belphegor," he hissed. "I need your help, badly."

"Nn?" I hummed, glancing at him.

"Kiss me."

"Wha-"

I gasped as his lips roughly sealed my own, then moaned quietly, for he was suprisingly good at what he was doing. Still, when I closed my eyes, I imagined Fran, and I could almost see his face before me as I kissed my fellow captive. It continued like this for a while, before suddenly, I felt his body being torn off of mine, and I blinked, confused, to see Hibari smirking proudly at Mukuro, who now held his chin in a dangerous grip.  
>"What the hell are you doing, Kyouya?" he said darkly. Hibari grabbed the illusionist's wrist, digging his nails mercilessly into the other's flesh.<p>

"If you so insist on mocking me with your casual flirting with that Fran, I'll have to turn elsewhere," he hissed, not dropping the smug look on his face.

"Kufufu... you can't possibly be... jealous... are you, Kyouya?" Mukuro said, dragging the ravenette's face closer. Hibari snorted, and crashed his lips against Mukuro's, biting and kissing him more roughly than he had me. It was today that I learned that Hibari had fallen in love with Mukuro throughout all of the abuse, and it was also today that I wanted Fran more than ever.

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><p><em>A little later... (This scene gets CLOSE to M-rated content, but doesn't contain actual lemon.)<em>

Mukuro and Hibari had wrestled one another out of the room by then, and I was curled up on the bed, wondering why Fran hadn't been visiting me as often. Deep in the recesses of my mind, I worried that he had found a girl to love, other than me, and I also worried that he was going to get some sick revenge for me over his brother.

I wanted him to soothe me more than anything. I was growing restless in here, watching as Hibari's relationship with Mukuro progress and blossom.

"Oh, Bel-hi-"

"Fran!" I cried, racing forward and hugging the other man tightly. "Please...," I begged, for my insanity had taken over. "Please... don't... leave me..." Fran paused, then grinned, and suddenly pushed me down onto the bed, and pulled my shirt up over my head.

"All right, Bel-hime... since you're obviously ready, I'll give you a little treat for being patient as I trained..." I watched in awe as Fran leaned down and rasped his tongue over my throat, before husking into my ear, "Tell me how it felt when you laid those flowers over his grave." Now knowing that Fran's favorite subject was the death of his brother, I shuddered, and answered that I had felt as though I'd done a good deed. Fran chuckled, and began to run his fingers over my bare chest. I breathed shakily as he teased my skin, and my lips stretched back into a wicked grin, displaying my excitement as he came up and kissed my cheek, one hand stroking through my hair now. His gentle caresses taunted my senses, making me blush darker than ever as I naturally thought about the possibility that swelled with each step forward.

"Fran... please...," I panted shakily, reaching up and holding his adorable face in my hands as I coaxed his mouth towards mine. We met in a kiss, and Fran's hands continued to slide over my body with ease, making me hotter and hotter as the time elapsed between our bodies. Fran's clothed body rubbing against mine was more erotic than anything I'd felt in my life, and just as I was about to lose myself to overwhelming lust, Fran pulled back, hearing Mukuro call his name. I pouted as his body left mine, and sat up as he walked out of the room, quietly whimpering, "Fran..."

"Calm down, I'll be right back," Fran told me.

When he walked away, the hair of sanity keeping me in tact had broken, and I snarled in rage, scraping my nails down the walls, before turning and approaching the night stand. Fran had left his notebook there. Hissing quietly, I picked up the book and pencil, and opened it, then paused, and sat down on the bed. Blank paper was the portal back into reality, and I was desperate to take that path. I touched the lead to the page, and began to draw mindlessly, my heart throbbing with longing as my mind trailed to the harsh and cruel intimacy that Hibari shared with Mukuro. Their love-hate relationship was more than I'd ever had, and that made my eyes wet with envy. I wanted to have that same kind of relationship with Fran- no- I wanted to have that relationship with Mammon.

_Mammon_...

As my mind continued to drift, I found that I was drawing him. The first man I'd ever loved... the man with indigo hair and eyes... And as I remembered those bittersweet memories, I found myself growing weary...

"Bel." My name was said in a sharp voice, and I opened my eyes, then looked up at Fran. The young illusionist held up his notebook in front of my face, and asked, "What is this?" I stared at the picture, and blushed to see that I'd drawn a rather explicit sketch of Mammon's bare body, and I looked away, before Fran came up and pressed his lips to my ear. "Kinky Bel-hime," he hissed. "Do you want to see me naked this badly?" I didn't quite understand until I realized that without color or clothes, Fran and his brother were identical. Fran must've thought that the drawing had been of him. If it was at all possible, I thought my blush may have darkened, but then, Fran laughed in an almost maniacal manner. "You're so stupid sometimes," he chuckled. "Did you really think I'd strip for you? Ha! Bel-hime, you are a serious perv," Fran said. I sighed, then wiped at my lonely tears, and my voice cracked as I tried to tell Fran how much I loved him. But just as I was about to force the words out of my mouth, he dragged me off the bed and pressed me up against the wall. I gasped as his hand moved up my back as if feeling where all of my nerves were, and then, I felt my confession building up inside me, and shuffled shyly. "What's the matter, Bel-hime?" I heard him breathe.

"I love you," I whispered. "Fran... oh, Fran, I love you." Fran didn't seem to have any reaction as I spoke, and I closed my eyes tightly, sniffling. "I love you... so... much..." Fran then leaned up and whispered into my ear, and his breath was heavy.

"Bel, you're worse than I thought... If you think that we could ever be lovers... don't you remember? You killed my brother. I might admire the deed, but you... you're only good for one thing." His arms laced around my waist, then traveled up my body, and soon, he was holding my chin in one of his hands as I stared, confused, at the wall.

"What do you think I'm good for?" I murmured.

"This..."

His other hand struck a nerve point on me that made my body go limp, and when it did, I was leaning heavily against his body, and he was just barely holding me up, his breath hot and taunting against my head as I tried to understand. "Fran...?"

"Stay still." I was lied on the ground, paralyzed, and Fran sat down on top of my chest, smirking. I wanted to reach up and push him back until he was straddling my hips, but it was easy to see that he wasn't going to budge, and I couldn't lift a finger anyway. "Bel, if I didn't know better, what I'd do to you in this moment would be defiling to me and you alike as human beings."

Suddenly, I understood why he was sitting on me in such a suggestive position. It was to inspire fear within me, to make me see that he has the power in this relationship. But of course- I mean, he was trained by Mukuro. "Fran, please...," I breathed. "You don't need to feel like you need to prove yourself to me..." Suddenly, I could move again, and I moved my hand to his thigh, and his expression turned from confident to nervous.

"I'm not the insecure man you think I am, Bel," he said, before shoving my bangs up, leaning over low, and glaring into me as he hissed, "You and your freaking ugly eyes."

"What's wrong with my eyes?" I protested.

He paused, then whispered, "They look like the eyes of my brother, but pale, and lifeless. They disgust me."

With that, he stood, and stormed away, leaving me to sit there, wondering how it was that I was responsible for the color of my eyes.

**-End Chapter**

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><p>*phew*<p>

Please Review!


	9. Change Me

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Nine: Change Me**

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><p><em>It was now thirty days since I'd been captured by Fran.<em>

"Hey... Hibari...," I said uncertainly as I looked at the resting captive who looked even more messed up than normal. "What happened to you?"

"Hehe...," he chuckled. "Nothing... really... just..."

"Just what?" I pressed.

He stood, and walked over to me, before breathing into my ear, "I finally did it with him. I'm fine... just a little... ruffled, to say the least."

"You what?" I gasped. "C'mon, Hibari, what's with you? It wasn't too long ago that you hated this guy!"

He frowned. "Well... after you first lost yourself... he took me back... he lied me down... and he just stood there beside me, a hand on my stomach where you'd punched me, and then, he said that I was too precious to him for you to hurt me. I guess from then on, I started to see him in a different way. And... well... now..."

I sighed, and hugged a pillow close to my chest. "Lucky bastard," I snorted. "I actually told Fran that I loved him, and he turned me down really badly... he said my eyes were 'freaking ugly.'"

Hibari sighed, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You don't tell a man that you love them. You just don't. They want to be in control, and for that to happen, you need to act like you aren't intrested."

"So... how do you expect that to happen?"

"Easy," the other snickered. "The next time he walks in, I'll kiss you so that he gets jealous. You saw how that worked for Mukuro, right?"

"Yeah...," I uncertainly replied. I wasn't so sure about how well that method would work, but I was willing to give it a try. To tell Fran that I loved him, and then after how he'd reacted...

Suddenly, a thick, white mist bubbled into the room, and Mukuro materialized, then walked up to Hibari, and, without a word of greeting, dipped in and kissed him. I stared, suprised at the intimacy between the two, then decided that I had to go through with Hibari's plan. If they could go from a blunt, physical relationship to this loving state so quickly, then I had to trust his word on this.

"Bel," Hibari gasped, parting from Mukuro for a moment and glancing at me. "We'll work on that later. As for now..."

"Kufufu... I've got you already, Kyouya?" Mukuro laughed, his cheeks the slightest pink.

"Oh, shut up," Hibari panted, "let's go..."

The two walked out once more, and I sighed, falling back into a pillow and folding my arms. I was getting increasingly jealous of those two. They'd been bitter enemies for so long, and yet now they were suddenly all nice and sexy with each other, whereas Fran and I had started out tense and uncertain, and were now even more tense, and distinctly rivals. What was so ugly about my eyes, again?

I picked up a shard of glass that I had recently found beneath the bed, and I pushed my bangs back, staring into my own eyes, reflected in the glass. They were a pale lavender, just as Fran had described them, but the eyes of Mammon? Hardly. As I stared, the orbs within the mirror grew wet with tears, and I sniffled, putting the glass away once more and hiding my eyes with my bangs. The more I thought about it, the more I began to agree with Fran, and the more my self-esteem declined, the more I wanted to claw those eyes from my head. My thoughts were so loud, I could hardly hear the door open.

"I'm back," said Fran as he entered, "Master and his pet are going at it again, hm? Bet it makes you horny, huh, Bel-hime?" I shook my head. "Well, good, 'cause they're going to be like that for a while. Master says he needs to work hard to 'break Kyouya in,' y'know?" The teal-haired boy walked over to me, and smiled, before pressing his lips to my cheek. "It does turn me on a little. Would you like me to break you in, too, Bel-hime?"

"Fran," I started in a serious voice. "Don't."

He stopped, backing off, then sat down beside me. "Something wrong, Bel?" he asked in a soft voice. I knew, however, that the gentleness in his tone was a mask, and I remained cautious.

"Can you fix my eyes with your illusions?" I asked. "Can you make them look beautiful?"

Fran was taken back by the question. He probably never would've guessed that I'd want to change my eye color to please him. But he soon recovered from the suprise, and murmured, "I could try. Lie down?" It was my turn to be suprised when he told me to lie down in that uncommanding voice. But, as it was my request, I followed his command, and lied down on the bed, brushing my bangs back once more, and hoping desperately that Fran would fix what he didn't like so that we might be together. "What color?" Fran asked. "I'm not particular about what you change it too."

"Think you can make them as pretty as yours?" I challenged, smiling. Fran paused, and I noticed the slightest change in his face color, before he leaned down, bringing his face dangerously close to mine.

"Then make sure you watch closely," he whispered. Our lips met, and Fran's hands both found my head. With this, he moved his thumbs down, silently telling me to close my eyes, but I could still see the deep, teal irides, staring into me with an emptiness that held a thousand words. I could then feel his tongue entering my mouth, distracting me from everything else as I tried to remember what was going on, and then, suddenly, my eyes went as blank as Fran's; even when I reopened them, everything felt empty. "I tried," Fran murmured, backing off for a moment. "Your eyes... this is what they look like." Fran held up a mirror, and I blinked, then reached up, brushing my fingers beneath my eyelids. The once lavender eyes were now teal, and very closely resembled Fran's.

"It worked," I murmured. "Fran... thank you."

"Oh no, thank you, Bel-hime," Fran said, grinning. "You're much better, now."

"Then... Fran...," I murmured, reaching up. "Can we be closer?"

He paused, then came in, and kissed me once more, this time embracing me as he did so. I slowly sat up as he pulled on me, and soon enough, I was practically sitting in his lap, my hands on his back as I enjoyed the warmth of my captor. "We can be closer," Fran breathed in my ear. "But not too close, all right?"

I nodded dumbly, already intoxicated by the dream-like intimacy I was sharing with Fran. "Anything," I shuddered. "Anything is fine with me..." I looked into his eyes once more, and whispered, "I love you so much, Mammon." I'd unknowingly broken the spell in a single breath. Fran left on the spot, and I stared after him, momentarily confused, before grinning. "He loves me back," I said shakily. "He loves me so much."

It wasn't much longer until Hibari came back in, limping slightly as he approached me. "Hey," he greeted. He then became wary. "You've got that grin on. Are you Belphegor, or Prince the Ripper?"

"Who knows?" I giggled. "Maybe you're talking to both."

"Look, I can't take a maniac right now. I've already had my hourly workout," Hibari groaned, lying down on the couch. "Just leave me alone."

I stared at him for a moment, confused, then took that shard of glass from beneath the bed, and walked up to him. "Just a little?" I laughed.

"Hn?"

As he glanced back at me, I swiped the shard over his arm, making him wince. "Shishishi... I just want to see that sweet blood... ushishishishi..." The other man paused, then sighed, and closed his eyes.

"Be quick, and don't kill me. I can't die yet."

I laughed, and began to cut down his arm, watching as his expression tensed and relaxed gradually.

**-End Chapter**

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><p>*sigh*<p>

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	10. Stolen Away

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Ten: Stolen Away**

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><p>It was now thirty one days since I'd been captured by Fran.<p>

I lied in bed, bored with the lack of recent events, and sighed as I gazed at my eyes through the mirror. Miraculously, the teal within them was beginning to fade, and become lifeless, just like they were before Fran changed them. I didn't understand what it was that made them that way. Never before had I seen the colors of people's eyes fade- except if in old age.

Was it something I was doing wrong? The dried blood on the mirror reminded me of my state of mind. I was fully enveloped in my insanity, lost to the world, for I was alone, in my own. My entire being was false; I wasn't real. I was a mockery of an existence to be hidden away, locked in a room where no one could see me... no one could care... I would die here, in my fake world... the prince... _the maniacal prince._

"Bel-hime? You awake?"

Now, whenever my captor came in, I couldn't see him. I saw Mammon, and even though I could identify him as Fran; even though I knew I was hallucinating; even though I knew my captor wasn't kind; _even though Mammon was dead_, I could never see Fran! The color of his hair was eternally indigo, and his once teal eyes were no different. He was a beautiful man, masked by my heart, masked by my grief, and by my longing.

Who had killed Mammon?

_It wasn't me._

A while ago, I had been convinced that I was guilty. But somehow, in the depths of craziness, I knew that I was not the one to have made the fatal cut. Mammon was my friend. He was my first love. And I, insane as I was, would never be the one to murder him. It was undoubtedly someone else. All of my disgust when I went to his funeral, my fury that someone would steal from this life such a wise and kind soul, was reinvigorated as I lied there.

"Bel-hime...?"

Way back then, I remembered seeing a face, among all the grieving classmates. A head of teal hair. An innocent, blank expression. A young boy, but a man at the same time, and behind him stood another, who's face I couldn't recall. That man's hand was on the younger's shoulders, comforting him, soothing him. I didn't feel it at the time, but I soon began to feel strange. I wished I had seen his face. That man who was comforting the younger brother of Mammon... whoever he was... there was something terribly wrong about him. Who would stand there and comfort a man at a funeral, if they did not know him? Fran did not have parents, nor were there other siblings.

That man... _I had the_ _overwhelming suspiscion that he was the truthful murderer of my best friend._

"Oh, Bel-hi-"

"Morning," I said, not addressing Fran by his name. The word _'Fran'_ had grown foreign, after all. I was no longer affiliated with that pretty sound. If I attempted to speak it, my mouth would betray me, and would call him Mammon. I was a sane mind within an insane body. I was trapped, and no one could hear me.

"Well, you're pretty short with me today," Fran commented, sitting down on the bed beside me. The body of Mammon tempted me, but, knowing it was a trick, I groaned, and rolled over, burying my face in the pillow. I soon felt a hand on the back of my head, stroking through my hair, trying to soothe me. "Did I do something wrong?" the illusionist asked me. I shook my head. Even his voice was warped. "Why're you not looking at me, Bel-hime?" Fran questioned, starting to gently rub my shoulders. Unfazed by the touch, I shook my head once more.

"It's my eyes," I lied. "They're fading."

"Maybe you should get more involved," Fran chuckled. "You're acting so goofy all the time, maybe your eyes are just bored with you."

I grunted in reply. I had barely even heard what he had told me. I wasn't focusing on him. I was focusing on myself, trying to steel myself to speak to Fran. I would never say his name. I would never say _'I love you'_ to him. _'He'_ was Mammon, and I didn't want to fool myself any longer. "Hey, Bel-hime," Fran murmured, easing me over and kissing me with lips that didn't feel like his. I shuddered, knowing that Fran was just trying to show affection, but it wasn't his face that I saw. My entire mentality was messed up, as if the nerves were cooked raw.

My thoughts were starting to make less sense, too.

"Mammon...," I whispered, "I love you..." His face grew somewhat pale as he heard my words, and his expression fell. I stared, guilty, as Fran turned away from me, then frowned as he was, and whispered, "Sorry."

"Sure," Fran muttered. "_Sure_ you are!" I watched in suprise as he turned and glared at me, his eyes blazing with intense rage beyond what I believed him to be capable of. "You're nothing but an insane maniac. You don't even deserve to live."

I looked down, and said, "You're right."

"... Huh...?"

"I said you're right," I murmured, looking up. "I don't deserve to live. I've retrogressed back into my old ways. I'm a wild beast, thirsting for blood. I'm disgusting. But you should let me live, because deep down, I'm a good person! I really am!"

Fran thought for a moment, then reached out, and touched my cheek. "What's my name?" he asked.

For a moment, the vision flickered, and I saw the truth. _"You're Fran."_

Warm lips crashed into mine as Fran grabbed my head, and I blushed as he pinned me down, this time so close that I could feel his body rubbing against me. I was ready for him to take me. I _wanted_ him to take me. I wanted to become someone who belonged wholly to Fran. I wanted it with every fiber of my body. I _craved_ it. I _needed_ it.

_Fran_.

"Fran! Get over here! The police are at the door!"

Both of our bodies momentarily stiffened, before Fran suddenly hopped off of the bed and ran out, and I teared up, amazed that we had been stopped again. And then it registered inside my brain what Mukuro had shouted, and a spike of fear ran through me.

I feared being taken away from Fran. I didn't want to go. I wanted to be with him for eternity, right beside him, absorbing his warmth, his spirit... his love... I wanted to be Fran's lover... because, I felt,_ it's what Mammon would've wanted_.

Mukuro walked inside, shoving Hibari along, and he kicked the ravenetted down with an untamed kick, before walking up to me, and seizing me by the arms. "Come on, now," he hissed, yanking me out. I glanced at Hibari as I was pulled away, shocked, for it seemed as though Mukuro had tortured him again.

_The entire world was crumbling around me._

Mukuro continued to tug me along, before eventually taking me to the entrance. "Is this the man you're looking for?" he spat, throwing me to the ground.

"Bel!" Warm arms embraced me, helping me back to my feet, and I saw Squalo, looking at me with concern. "I'm so glad you're okay," he murmured. "We- the Varia- were so worried!"

I glanced back at the door, and saw Mukuro there, his hand on Fran's shoulder, and I saw Fran's expression. He was staring at me with sadness, his eyes filled with emotion as he watched me leave in Squalo's tender hold. I began to cry, then, for I had come to a realization, and I couldn't act on it. As I watched Fran and Mukuro, staring after me, I saw quite easily the resemblance. It wasn't the first time I'd seen an older man comforting a younger boy. Months earlier, I'd witnessed the exact sight... at Mammon's funeral.

It was _him_.

The man who comforted Fran at the funeral was none other that Mukuro Rokudo. _He killed Mammon._ And yet... I couldn't do anything about it. I was powerless. "Glad to see you back, Bel," Xanxus greeted, taking my other shoulder as the three of us headed into town. "Squalo's the one who tracked you down. When we knew where you were, and how to get you back, we set up an appointment for you and Lussuria and impersonated the police so that we could get you. Are you hurt at all?"

_Only in my heart,_ I longed to say. "Not severely," I murmured. "A bruise here and there, but... I'm fine."

Squalo looked up at me, and smirked, then said, "Don't worry Bel, you're back now."

Yes. I was back. Back in the world where I was none but a sane killer. Back in the world where no one loved me. Back in the world where Mammon was dead. Back in the world where Mammon would never have justice. Back in the world where Hibari was trapped away in a room being tortured. Back in the world where... back in the world where...

_Where I didn't have Fran._

I allowed my friends to bring me up to Lussuria's place, and they led me into his room, and I looked at him. He looked kind and motherly as always, and he told me to sit down, while Xanxus and Squalo left the room to wait for me. "So tell me, hun, what's been going on recently?"

"Well, let me start from the beginning..."

**-End Chapter**

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><p>Approximately 5 more chapters to go! :) Anyone frustrated yet?<p>

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	11. My Confused Heart

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Eleven: My Confused Heart**

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><p>It was the thirty first day since I had met Fran. I sat before Lussuria, pouring out the wealth of my experiences in a rambling voice.<p>

"... so when I first went insane, I started to attack Fran, and Hibari, too, but then he kissed me and I started to calm down, and then a little later, Hibari kissed me, and Mukuro got all jealous, so he dragged Hibari away. Ooh, also, one time, Fran took me out to a forest, by a lake, and he kept pushing me into the water, but it was fun~. And a while after that, I had him change my eye color 'cause he thought my eyes were ugly... and then he and I started to get closer... and I found out that I loved him... and that I didn't need Mammon... and then... then I found out that Mukuro was probably the guy who killed Mammon... and Hibari's back there being tortured... and he's all alone... him and Fran are all alone... with Mukuro..."

The more I thought about my month long stay with Fran, the sadder I became, and my fading, teal eyes became wet with tears as I remembered the purpose that I wouldn't fulfill. Fran didn't doubt for a second that I was the man to kill his brother, and even if he didn't hate me for it, it filled me with twisted regret that I wasn't going to get the truth to him.

"Oh, honey," Lussuria cooed, his voice soft as he gazed at me with his pitying eyes. "You've been through a lot, haven't you?" I gave a shaky nod. "Well, hun, would you like to draw out what you're feeling right now?" I shook my head, and, although Lussuria seemed a bit suprised, he found that it was okay. "What does Fran look like, dear?"

"He's the most beautiful man in the world," I breathed. "He has bright, teal hair and eyes, pale skin, and odd, lavender markings that come down from his eyes. He's slender, and cute... and..."

"That's good, dear. This is Mammon's younger brother, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, hun. And Mukuro?"

"He's got a red eye and a blue eye... blue hair that's pulled back like a pineapple... and he uses illusions to mess up his victims."

"Hibari?"

"Black hair... gray eyes... and his entire body was ravaged by scars."

"Mm... I see," Lussuria hummed. He stood, and sat down beside me, and placed a hand on my cheek. "Hun, there are bad people out there. It must be scary since you came out of that, but I can't stress enough how important it is that you remember who _you_ are." His hand traveled to my chest, and he murmured. "What is a pulse, to you?"

"It's a heartbeat," I replied.

"Once upon a time, you would say, _'it's a sign of life. It's a sign that I have yet to cut the throat,'"_ Lussuria said. "You're still sane, Bel, you must know this. You're a good person. Remember?"

"I'm a good person," I whispered.

"You don't deserve to die."

"I don't...," I murmured.

"You're a precious soul, and Bel, I love you as a human being, just how you are," Lussuria told me. I blushed lightly, and smiled, then hugged Lussuria in a tight embrace. He was like the parent I never had, and I was grateful to be with him after the experience with Fran and Mukuro. My self-esteem returned and flourished inside my seemingly broken mind, and as I stayed in Lussuria's gentle embrace, I found my broken heart healing. "Now, Bel-chan," Lussuria said, gently pushing me back so that I'd remember my boundaries. "You're truly a sweet young man, and I recognize that your experiences with love haven't been the most pleasant. Still, I want you to see the value in what has taken place. Lie down, hun."

I did so, and Lussuria took his seat, and he asked, "Is Fran a bad person?"

"... No... I don't think so."

"Are _you_ a bad person?"

"No..."

"Do you feel glad that you survived the experience with Fran?"

"Yeah... a bit..."

"Did Fran make you stronger?"

"Yes."

"Are you confident that you can love?"

"... Yes."

My hesitance was brief in answering the last question. While I was aware that my emotions were twisted and restricted by my flashes of insanity, I also knew that all of my affection for Fran was real. I wasn't a mindless doll that was incapable of taking affinities. Then, just as I thought that, a sickly sweet image crossed my mind. I thought of Fran, lying on the ground, his body ravaged by cuts, and over his chest was carved the words 'PROPERTY OF BELPHEGOR. TRESSPASSERS WILL BE KILLED.' The thought made me grin in the old way, but then, shock flashed in my expression, and I reached up, covering my face with my hands.

"What _kind_ of love?" I asked myself.

"What was that, dear?"

"What kind of love do I feel?" I repeated. "Is it true love? Or is it some psychotic fake romance that I'm living? I'm drowning in my own mind... Lussuria... am I a bad person?"

"Oh, hun, we _just_ went over this," Lussuria sighed. "Look, hun, it's perfectly normal to fantasize about him. Well... that he captured you and you feel that way is a _teensy_ bit strange, but that's all right! See, hun, whatever you feel, whatever you see, someone else has done it before, too-"

"Who else has thought of my Fran?" I snapped. I then paused, and covered my mouth, and whispered, "I should be in prison."

"No, no, Bel-chan," Lussuria stressed. "You've been away from me for a while, and your position as a captive probably scared you, and jostled you up. Especially if he forced you to believe you'd murdered your best friend. Bel-chan, you've been through a lot. Your mind may have reverted back to... it's _old_ ways... but that doesn't make you any less of a human than you really are. Understand?" I whispered 'yes' in a voice so quiet, even I couldn't hear it. "All of the fondness you have for dear Mammon's brother is perfectly just. But, Bel-chan, remember, it might not be lust that you feel. What if your just thinking of him like you would your own brother?"

_"No!"_ I shouted. That term, 'brother,' was a disgusting word. A 'brother' was someone who constantly drowned you in his shadow, and attempted to steal what you had. Fran even told me that his brother never loved him. Thinking of that foul word brought me back to my childhood, and the one who stole my title, my looks, my life away from me. The boy whose shadow I seemed to always have to lurk in, and there I would sulk, untouched by the world. He was a hateful creature, decorated with my face, and my voice, but with such a disgusting twist that it made me look bad. That boy... Rasiel. The other prince. My insane twin. My _brother_.

I would never think of my beautiful captor as a 'brother.' He was no less than the love of my life. "Luss...," I murmured. "About those medications that you once prescribed me..."

My counselor's sky-blue eyes grew wide, and he paused for a long moment before placing his hands in his lap. "That's not neccessary right now, Bel-chan. You should just be yourself. Yes, medication would help supress your occassional paranoia and hallucinations, but I strongly insist that you don't resort to that."

I looked down and sighed, before murmuring, "I'm scared. What if I lose control? What if I kill someone...? Wh... what if..."

And, although I didn't say it aloud, the echo of my mind cried, _'What if I hurt Fran?'_

"Calm down, hun," Lussuria soothed, reaching out. His fingers gently stroked my hair as he tried to get me to settle, and I slowly did so. The moment my muscles relaxed, Lussuria said, "It's okay. You aren't going to lose control. You're just fine... perfectly fine."

I looked down. "Can I draw, now?"

Lussuria gave me a soft smile, and passed me an old book that I vaguely remembered seeing before. As he passed me a pencil, I opened the book, and turned through it, looking at the pictures that decorated each page, mostly of flowers, and trees. Scenes of mountains, rivers, and other pictures from nature, and then, there started to be a person in the picture. At first, I didn't recognize the figure, but I soon recognized it to be me mixed in with the nature. Then, to my suprise, another man- not Mammon- also appeared. I identified it to be Rasiel. My eyes watered as I realized that a while ago, I had been drawing pictures of my brother and I in the same area... in a peaceful manner, at that.

_Could it be that long ago, mayhaps only months after I killed him... I found pity and love for my deceased brother?_

Lussuria noticed me staring at the picture, and he sighed. "Do you miss him, Bel-chan?" I dumbly shook my head. "Well... you used to." I looked up at my counselor, silently pleading for him to elaborate, and he clucked his tongue, leaning back in his chair. "You used to request that I lead a prayer for him, to wish him good luck- wherever he is. You were in a sort of stupor when you said those things, though. It was as though your mind was so coherent that you couldn't even think about what you were doing. You were pure. Your ego was completely absent in those moments."

At last, it dawned on me. The death of Mammon brought fear back into my body, and with fear came hate, and with hate came the desire to love. I grew into a self-absorbed human being, and suddenly, that 'purity' Lussuria mentioned had vanished. It was as though someone had covered my head with a blanket, bathing me in darkness, telling me to fear. I feared losing all my friends. I feared being hurt. I hated Rasiel. I desired self-preservation. I desired love. And I desired vengeance for Mammon's death.

Among these emotions, I lost the ability to forgive. I lost my love. I lost _everything_.

"Lussuria...," I murmured. "Who took it away?"

Lussuria stared at me, confused, then reached out, and touched my cheek. "I'm not quite sure if I understand, but I'll say this... you can get it back, Bel-chan. You don't need to hate."

I looked back at the picture, and I could feel my heart being twisted with emotion.

I was a killer. I was corrupted.

_And I would stand that no longer._

**-End Chapter**

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><p>This chapter really reflects some of the teachings that I'm getting from my mother. :') Innit touchin'?<p>

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	12. Regained Ally

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Twelve: Regained Ally**

As I exited Lussuria's room, my book in my arms, I was solemn, and thinking hard. How would I recapture the purity that once resided in my mind? How would I once more obtain the peace and quiet, and the kindness that I used to have? I had learned that wealth and fame would bring me no satisfaction. Punishment for my own sins didn't satisfy me either. Nor, as I had recently found, did love quench my thirst. And thus began my journey to find myself, in myself.

"Bel? You okay?" Squalo asked, getting up from the couch and walking over. "You sane?"

He laughed, and playfully tapped me on the nose, and I shook my head, knowing I couldn't think about it now. "I'm sane," I answered. "Luss thinks that I should take it easy for a while, though."

"Ha! Perfect, Xanxus and I can get you caught up on schoolwork."

I glanced over at the raven-haired male on the couch, and cocked my head, wondering if he, too, was thinking about _'it_.' Such a hope was soon dashed, as Xanxus stood, and walked over, then placed his hand on my head, then roughly messed with my hair. "It's been a damn long time, scum. Glad you're back."

I sighed, and brought both young men in for a short hug, just to emphasize that I was all right. I was, however, rather jostled to discover how deep my hatred had run, and how much it had dragged me down. I thought back to Hibari, and wished that I could show him how great it was to not hate Mukuro for what he was doing, and then, I got angry at myself. On no condition was Mukuro a good person, and I would not pity him. That man was full of envy and pride, and he needed to be brought off of his high, or he would be unstoppable.

I was turned about and confused when I thought of Mukuro. Should I hate him? Or should I forgive him? I'd ruled out 'hate' as a bad emotion already, but, as I thought that, how could I _not_ hate someone like him?

After a while, I decided against further investigation of my conciousness. For now, I needed to focus my attention on the men before me. "So... um... what are we going to do?" I asked.

"Pfft! You deaf, Bel? Schoolwork!" Squalo laughed.

"Ah, right," I sighed. "Okay."

The three of us left, and I gave Lussuria one final glance over my shoulder, to find him staring back at me, worry in his eyes. Just as Squalo opened the door for us to leave the building, however, we found a certain someone at the door. I froze, my heart raced, and my throat ran dry, for before us stood Fran, as beautiful as ever.

"Hey! You're the kid that messed with our friend, right?" Squalo snarled. "It's on, guy, we're gonna-" I shoved the shark aside in an instant, and all but tackled Fran in my joy to see him. He was knocked flat to the ground by the rough maneuver, but he didn't seem to mind; in fact, as he looked up at me, he reached out, and cupped my cheeks in his hands, then kissed me. It was the best feeling I'd felt in my life to be kissed by Fran. My heart was then beating so hard, it was a wonder the thing didn't explode. But why was I so joyful? I thought that I'd determined I couldn't be satisfied by love.

"Damn, Bel," Fran hissed, sitting up with me in his lap. "You must've waved your little fairy wand or something, because the moment you left, I knew I had to get you back. There's just no way in hell I'm letting you leave me."

We stood, and I turned back to Squalo and Xanxus. The two of them were furious. And as I recognized that Fran wanted me to run away with him, I lost my will to be back in Squalo's arms. They didn't comfort me quite like Fran did. Yet at the same time, the thought of leaving them- this time on purpose, forever, was something that I simply could not do. They were like my family!

It was then that I remembered the discovery that I needed to share with Fran. "Fran, at your brother's funeral, there was a man comforting you. Was that man Mukuro?"

Fran paused. "Yes...?"

"I think he killed Mammon!" I cried. Fran's eyes widened in shock, and he released me from his embrace, then took a few steps back.

"_You_ killed Mammon," he said dryly.

"No, no, I swear I didn't," I announced. "But I'm very sure that it was Mukuro."

"I ran away from _him_ to live with _you_," Fran said, his eyes shining with sadness. "I was hoping that you wouldn't lie to me anymore."

"But I'm not lying!" I protested. "Fran, I love you! And I didn't kill Mammon!" Fran sighed, and looked up at me.

"I can see why you would think that about Master, because he has killed before, and his actions towards the songbird aren't the kindest," he murmured. "But... I love you, and I know what you did. Isn't that good enough?"

"VOI, YOU BRAT! BEL DIDN'T KILL MAMMON, HE WAS SANE THE ENTIRE TIME HE HAD MAMMON AS A FRIEND!" Squalo screamed. After the fact, he sorely rubbed his throat, and Xanxus grinned at him.

"Oh, really," Fran said sarcastically, folding his arms. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked to see Lussuria.

"Excuse me, dears, but I'm off to lunch. Is there a problem?"

Fran glared at me, then at Luss, then started to storm away, clearly upset that my friends had ganged up against him. "Guys, I'll be fine," I said to them. "Just let me follow him. Trust me."

I walked out, my friends staring after me, and followed right behind Fran, and found that I could feel the mixed raging and sorrowful energy that surrounded the younger man. I pitied him, having to feel like that, when I knew that there was no point to those negative feelings. It wasn't long before we came up to the 'illusion-training' place, and Fran entered, me right behind him.

"Master! I'm back!" Fran called. There was a silent pause, and Fran groaned, before taking a turn, and vanishing before my eyes. Although I was nervous to be abandoned in that place, filled with weird, neon shapes and surreal figures, it was about then that I actually came up to my old room. From inside it, I heard noises that were oddly familiar- sounds that made my cheeks turn red and my skin crawl.

A series of grunts and moans, all in a sort of pattern, beating evenly. However, I couldn't identify whether the following shout was one of ecstasy, or deep pain. "Mu-Mukuro!" came the voice, deep and throaty- the unmistakable voice of Hibari Kyoya. Afterwords, the door flung open, and I hid behind it, observing as Mukuro stepped out. Hi sface was flushed, and he was panting lightly, and he took a few moments to catch his breath.

"Fran?" he called, walking away. I immediately snuck into the room, closing the door behind me as I looked inside. On the bed was Hibari, his body bruised, broken, and completely bare. He sat upright and looked at me, his eyes wild, and I gasped as he rose to his feet. It was amazing that he had been able to stand- many of his bones were probably fractured beneath his skin that was colored red, purple and pale all over.

"Why are you back here?" he hissed. "Get out."

"Hibari, I came to talk," I said uncertainly.

"Get out!" he snarled. "You have no idea what your leave caused for me." I gasped as he swung a fist into my stomach, amazed by the strength that the weakened man could summon. I fell to the floor, and shielded myself as Hibari tackled me, throwing punches at me- countless punches and kicks that shattered my form as bad as his was already. I felt myself being taken over by fear as Hibari showered me with his severe blows, then looked up, tasting blood in my mouth, and I realized that I didn't have to be afraid. I didn't have to be scared of Hibari. He was angry and fearful as it was- he was on the verge of collapsing already.

"Hibari," I breathed, placing my hands on his cheeks. "It's okay." He stared at me with blank, bored eyes, so I continued. "You don't need to be angry at me... I didn't want to leave you alone here with him. Hibari, I care about you."

He sat back, and I stared into his eyes for a good amount of time, before he leaned in and kissed me. It wasn't a sensual, 'I love you' sort of kiss, but an 'I miss you,' apologetic action that we shared. I told him I was sorry for leaving him, and he told me that he was sorry for the attack, and that he was all right. Once he backed up, he rasped, "Stay."

"I promised we'd get out of this together," I murmured. "I'm going to uphold that promise. And I'm going to make sure that we both get out... with the ones we love by our sides."

**-End Chapter**

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><p>XD How about that? Boom! Dug myself out of the 'plothole!'<p>

Please Review!


	13. The Truth Hurts

**Death Wish**

** Chapter Thirteen: The Truth Hurts**

Hibari and I sat beside each other on the bed, sharing information about recent events, when Fran and Mukuro walked in together. The two paused, both clearly confused, and Mukuro chuckled darkly, glaring at Hibari.

"Oya oya? Is my little skylark... _cheating_ on me?" he growled in a venomously smooth tone, walking forward. I stood up and moved in front of the illusionist, blocking his path to Hibari, and he frowned, his eyes mean. "Move out of the way or I'll kill you first," he hissed, placing the longest prong of his trident right against my nose.

"Master!" Fran protested. "You can't kill Bel-hime, I won't allow it!"

Mukuro gave the younger man a cold stare. "He's touched something that does not belong to him, dear Fran, I must punish him!"

"I didn't touch him," I said defiantly. "And Hibari did not touch me. But if I still stand as a threat to you, so be it." I was amazed by the tone in my voice. I sounded confident, commanding, and honest beyond my own comprehension. I was standing up to Mukuro. _I was standing up to the ego._

Hibari stood behind me, and I watched as he approached Mukuro, his eyes dangerous. "I love you," he hissed. "I love you so much, Mukuro."

Mukuro's eyes were stern as he stared the prefect down, and I found myself caught up in the tension, and I bit my lip, nervous. "Kyouya," Mukuro hissed, "get back down on the bed, and wait for me to put you back in place."

To the suprise of just about everyone in the room, Hibari did so, and the gentle shine of tears were visible in his gray eyes as he did so. It was as though he was so broken and scared of Mukuro that he couldn't even tend to his pride any more. "Bel," Fran said in an edgy voice. "Come here."

"Mukuro!" I announced, ignoring Fran. "You were the man who killed Mammon, weren't you?"

Suddenly, everything became deathly quiet, and Mukuro's expression quickly changed to one of amusement. "So I've been found out at last," he commented, his eyes dangerous. "You sure took your precious time, eh?"

I was stunned. Mukuro had confessed to the crime so easily. But just as I started to feel proud of myself, I saw Fran's expression. "What do you mean, 'found out'?" the younger man cried, stepping back. "You didn't do it!"

Mukuro tossed his head back, hooting with laughter, and he said, "No one, mind you,_ no one_, touches my girl!" he announced. "Especially that man! Let me tell the story, if I can recollect it... Fufufufufu...

"It was a fine day when I discovered a little something on Chrome's cheek. Upon closer inspection, I recognized the substance to be saliva- someone had kissed my sister's cheek! I was disgusted by the discovery, and I questioned Chrome about it. She blushed, and told me that it was from her boyfriend. After taking the name of this 'boyfriend,' I found that it was that annoying man who had run away from me, knowing that I had not the pure heart that Fran believed I possessed. And so, one night, I set out. I found him. He tried to reach the phone right from the start, I slashed my trident over his wrists, making sure that it was too painful for him to get any defense. I then sliced it over his throat, and watched him die before my very eyes, watching the blood run until he was completely done for. There was a man on the couch, and I recalled seeing in the newspaper his exact picture. He was a killer. And so, I, made sure to tell dear Fran every detail I knew when I got back."

Suddenly, I remembered. I spoke up. "I was there," Bel whispered. "That was me... I could've stopped you!" I snarled in agony, falling to my knees, and I buried my face in my hands. I remembered everything. I had woken up the next morning to find Mammon dead, but I somehow didn't suspect myself at all. I had instantly called the police and told them.

But what's done was done. More importantly, Fran was appalled by this new development. He stepped back, his eyes wild, then ran away, leaving Hibari and I alone with Mukuro. I wanted to chase after him, but I knew that there was still a loose end for me to tie up. "Hibari," I murmured. "Do you still love him with this discovery?"

Hibari wiped at his eyes, then clutched a broken arm, his eyes sad as he looked up. "I'll love that damned pineapple no matter what he does," he whispered. "The question is if he loves me, too."

Mukuro walked forward, and his eyes were unusually soft. "You think that I don't love you?" he murmured.

"After everything you've done?" Hibari said, his voice cracking. "I can't tell if you even think I'm worth your time."

The illusionist pushed me aside with a suprisingly gentle hand, and kissed Hibari, starting to work to get his coat off. "I do love you," he breathed as they parted. "Whether jealousy affects the clarity of that fact or not, I want you to remember that."

I then took something out of my pocket, and handed it to Hibari, who's eyes were starting to water at Mukuro's words. He took the cherry blossom, and bit his lip, then, as if knowing the secret message I was trying to convey, he looked up into Mukuro's eyes, and whispered, "Free me." Mukuro stared at the prefect, incredulous, and took a step back.

"What do you mean?"

"I want you to free me," Hibari repeated. "I don't want to be your pet."

"Kyouya," Mukuro breathed. _"You said that you loved me."_

"I mean it, too!" Hibari announced. "But I want to be your lover as a true lover! I don't want any more of your S&M plays!"

Mukuro paused, perplexed, and reached forward, running his hand through the prefect's hair as he murmured, "No more cuts, then? No more beatings? I can live with that. What do you take me for? I love you, Kyouya. I promise."

As I saw Hibari starting to emotionally crumble, I reluctantly left the room, and managed to find my way outside. And somehow, I also knew where I could find Fran. I walked through town, only focusing on the destination, and I soon came up to the pond where Fran once took me. He was sitting there, his face buried in his hands, and I approached, cautious. "Fran?" I called. He looked up, and I saw the redness in his eyes that proved my suspiscions.

"Get out of here," he growled, glaring at me. I took a step closer. "Seriously, Bel, don't try me."

"I love you," I cooed, using my softest voice as I sat down beside him. "I really love you, Fran." He closed his eyes, and placed them in his hands once more, biting his lip as he trembled.

"I really thought it was you," he whispered. "When I saw you that day... everything was so perfect. Mukuro told me that he had gone to pick up Chrome from Mammon's house, and he came running back, crying, 'Fran, oh, Fran, it's horrible! I woke up Chrome and got her out as quick as I could, but I couldn't save your brother. There was a man on the couch, a bloody knife in his hand. A blonde man, known as Prince the Ripper.' I was so glad, at first. The one who might get Mukuro and I arrested had been killed, and it was soothing to know that he didn't die a lame death. But no. Mukuro betrayed me! My own_ Master_ betrayed me!"

"He lied so that you'd keep respecting him," I assured, placing a hand on his back. "I'm sorry for you, Fran... but in the mean time, I'm so glad that you know who I am now. Can we start over?"

He looked up at me. "No... there's too much in this relationship already. We can't just start over." He leaned in, and I met him in the kiss half way, and once we were met together, I knew that it was all going to turn out all right. Fran wasn't even close to the overpowering, dominating man that I had taken him for; in fact, he was a very gentle man at heart. This was his true nature. This was Fran, outside of corruption. Outside of fear, and cruelty. This was the real Fran. And, just kissing him, I knew that I was meant to submit to him. I would be perfectly comfortable with Fran lying over me.

This was what it felt like to fulfill fate. We parted, and Fran bit his lip, looking into my bangs. He reached up, and pushed my bangs back, then gasped. "Bel," he whispered.

"Nn?"

"Your eyes...," he began. An abrupt and painful spike of fear shot through me. _Oh, please,_ I thought, _please don't reject me. Please, no matter how ugly my eyes are, please... don't leave me._ I was soon able to get the leash back on my fear, however, for Fran soon breathed, "They're... beautiful."

"What...?" I gasped.

"They've become a bright, radiant purple... just like my brother's... but so much better," he murmured, before coming in and kissing me more fiercely. Meanwhile, I comprehended what he had told me. Apparently, the faded teal illusion had died out, and my old eye color had returned, but more vibrant than they used to be. I came to the discovery that the fear and hate had been dulling my eye color. As I continued to lose these feelings, however, they grew more colorful.

"You like them?" I asked.

"They aren't... fake, are they?" Fran questioned. I shook my head. "I love them," Fran admitted, giving me a light blush. "Hey, if... if you're not too busy... which, I'm pretty sure your aren't... will you take me in?"

_'Take me in.'_ Three words that made my heart throb with longing. "Join the Varia," I requested. "I usually room alone, but if you don't mind..."

Fran smiled, and hugged me tightly. "All right, Bel-hime. I'll definitely come with you."

And my life began again, this time with Fran at my side.

But it wasn't over yet.

**-End Chapter**

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><p>That's right, it's not over yet! I have one more major event, and some 26B lemon which I will put in a warning for when it appears.<p>

_This chapter is dedicated to roseluva! Thank you for the stack of reviews that pushed me to post this, and maybe finish Death Wish today! :D_

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	14. Stay With Me, I Forgive You

**Death Wish **

**Chapter Fourteen: Stay With Me, I Forgive You**

_It was now one day since I had taken Fran into my home._

"Hey, Bel," Fran murmured, "I don't mean to offend you, or anything like that, but I was wondering when we're going to take the next step."

I grinned, and hugged him tightly, nuzzling into Fran's slender, toned chest as I replied, "Tommorrow night? We're already sharing a bed, so I can't imagine that it'll be long. Besides... I've wanted to do go all the way with you for a while now. I do feel that you should get used to the room first, though."

I didn't have to see Fran to know that he was blushing. Fran as a lover was much more open and gentle, and even took time to be romantic when it counted. But Squalo and Xanxus had yet to know that I was here- and more importantly, that I was here with Fran. And so, I forced myself out of the warm position I was in, and straightened out my clothes, before looking back at Fran with a grin. "Hungry?" I asked. He smiled, and the both of us headed out to kitchen, me leading the way. As we walked in, I blushed lightly, seeing a sight that was rather familiar to him.

Xanxus and Squalo were making out, Squalo sitting in the older man's lap, and Lussuria was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. "Two more plates, please!" I called, clinging to Fran's arm. Lussuria ran out of the kitchen, Squalo practically fell off of Xanxus, and the three other men slowly stood, gazing at me and Fran like we were ghosts. Lussuria was the first to come out of the daze, and he walked over to us, then wrapped an arm around each of our shoulders, then hugged us both with his motherly warmth. "Bel-chan, Fran-chan," he greeted. "Welcome to the Varia."

"Thank you," Fran murmured.

"I'm back," I replied, grinning. Lussuria returned to making breakfast for us.

"So, Fran," Squalo said, rubbing the back of his head as he approached. "I apologize for my attitute yesterday," he murmured, holding out his hand. Fran smiled and took it, and there was an only partially awkward moment shared, before we all returned to the table.

Breakfast went smoothly, with me telling the other Varia how my experience with Fran, Mukuro and Hibari went. As I closed the story, however, I found that I had lost my appetite. Even though I was safe with Fran, I was disheartened in the fact that I was likely to never see Hibari again. He'd been a good friend, after all, and that I had to leave him with a man like Mukuro was difficult.

But amongst that sadness was the relief that I had left him in the care of someone who loved him. Hibari was going to be all right.

Ironically, just as I thought that, a pounding sounded on the entrance door to the Varia. I got up and ran to it, and when I opened the door, I found just the man who I'd been worrying about, and his lover, staring back at me frantically. "Wha- how did you two find this place?" I questioned.

"No time!" Hibari cried. "Let us in!"

I stepped aside, and the couple ran into the home instantly. I closed the door behind them, and glanced back, to see what was wrong. A large bullet wound was embedded in the back of Mukuro's left shoulder, and Hibari tended to it in silent panic, the both of them panting, calming down from what must have been a huge event. "What happened?" I asked, leading the two back to where everyone was. Hibari reached up, placing a hand on his forehead, and he took a deep breath, before starting to explain.

"Mukuro and I were going out to breakfast...," he started, "and then, someone from the strengthening program we used to be in recognized both of us. He saw all of my wounds, too. And as it turns out, he was actually a police officer in disguise."

"Two more plates?" Lussuria sighed, to which I nodded. "Mou, I'm going to be late for work again..."

"His name's Byakuran," Mukuro spat. "He was a real flirt to me back then, too. I had to decide whether I would torture Hibari or Byakuran. Then, I found out about Hibari's cherry blossom 'allergies,' and I chose him." I smiled as Lussuria hurried back out, handed the two lovers his business card, then bustled back into the kitchen. "So, Fran," Mukuro sighed, passing the card to Hibari, "I take it you're not going to train with me anymore?"

"I will," Fran said. "If you stay."

Hibari's head snapped up from reading the card, and he whispered, "Could we stay?"

"Wha- No way!" Squalo screamed. "You two are trouble!"

"Shut it, trash," Xanxus snapped, elbowing the long-haired man. "I say this one's up to Bel." The group looked at me, and I smiled, looking at Hibari and Mukuro. Finally, the answer to my question had emerged. As I looked into Mukuro's pleading, mismatched eyes, I knew that I needed to forgive him. All of the cruel acts he committed were out of fear and anger, and ignorance. But if he and Hibari were to meet with Lussuria- the one who had shown me the truth- I was confident that they would soon see it, too. They were already off of the insane S&M route, and headed towards a more romantic path with one another. They weren't bad people. They were just learning.

"Stay with us," I offered. "The Varia are all protected from prison as long as we remain in good behavior. Lussuria is in close correspondence with us so that we stay guarded and safe. He's like our mother."

"Bel-chan, you flatter me," Lussuria hummed, coming out of the kitchen with breakfast. As he served everyone, Fran spoke up.

"Is it really all right, Bel? I mean, he... killed your best friend," Fran murmured. I placed a hand on my lover's shoulder.

"I forgive him," I replied. "Because... even though he took Mammon away, he gave me you." Fran blushed lightly, then leaned in, and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. Right beside me, Hibari's body relaxed, and he murmured, "Can I get help treating Mukuro?"

Lussuria hurried over. "I'm free at the moment; come along." Those three left, and Fran and I began to share with Squalo and Xanxus the events that brought us together.

Night...

"Bel? Are you still awake?" Fran asked, holding me in his relaxed embrace. "I want you to know that today was the most fun I've ever had."

"Same here," I replied, leaning up to kiss the younger man. "I love you."

"And you're really cool that Master's here?" Fran whispered.

"I told you, Fran. I forgive him," I assured. "There's no point in blaming him for being scared." Fran's smile reassured me that my choice was right, and I snuggled up close to him, then closed my eyes. "Night."

"Good night, Bel-hime."

_As I drifted off into sleep, I found myself being visited by what I could only describe as an angel._

**-End Chapter**

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><p>All right! I'm ready to wrap this up! Sweetness and lemon (lemonade) in the next chapter, but only after what Bel just mentioned actually has a purpose!<p>

Please Review!


	15. My Loving Soul

**Death Wish**

**Chapter Fifteen: My Loving Soul**

Before me stood Mammon, his form glowing slightly as he looked at me. "Monta...?" I breathed. He walked up to me, and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Bel, there is something important I need to tell you," he announced. "You and Fran can't be together yet."

"What...?" I said. "But... Monta!"

"You two can't be together until you've completely accepted each other for who you are," Mammon said in a serious voice. "Just like how you viewed Fran as my replacement-"

"I don't think that anymore!" I cried. "I love Fran as he is. I love the beautiful man who made the mistake that changed my life." Mammon sighed, and shook his head.

"I know. But Fran needs to accept you, too."

"What...?"

Mammon sighed. "Do I have to spell it out? Fran doesn't accept you. Remember? His image of you is a psycho who killed me."

"Fran doesn't accept me?" I repeated. Even though I knew that what Mammon told me wasn't true, it made my painful fear return. "But why...?"

"You need to force your true personality on him," Mammon rasped. "He needs to see your true colors. He needs to see how wild you are."

I gasped as a cut appeared over Mammon- no, suddenly, it was Fran's throat, then cried out in shock as I saw the knife in my hand. No! I would never hurt Mammon! I would never hurt Fran! I loved him! Fear completely suffocated my being, and I choked, agony making my head pound. My entire being screamed for Fran, crying out for help, shouting in fear. I could feel the world spinning about me, the dispair and sorrow spiraling out of control, changing me, making my being mutate into a monster! I was a killer! I was Prince the Ripper!

_Stop._

Suddenly, with one word, time was at a stand still. What was I doing? I knew that I couldn't hurt Fran. I knew that I loved him. So why was this dream able to throw me off? That's right... it was a dream. Nothing more. I slowly eased myself down, then sat on the ground, and brought my knees close. I had to wake up from this nightmare, because it was all fake. This wasn't me. This wasn't the real me. This was me, consumed by hatred and envy. Overcome by fear and paranoia. I wasn't like that anymore. I was a bright, young man with a beautiful, gentle boyfriend, and my love, accompanied by my lack of hate, was powerful enough to change my world.

Words recurred and pulsed in my mind. The words 'I love you,' repeated so much that I had to wonder for a moment if I truly was sane. However, seeing the lack of corruption in my heart, I knew that I was. The only people who were 'insane,' were those who hadn't learned that fear and hate created a living hell. They were living a dream, striving to be happier, whether it was through getting the best car, the most money, or the prettiest face or spouse. If everyone could content to find happiness in themselves, just the way they are, maybe world peace wouldn't be so far away...  
>My eyes opened, and I gave out a relaxed sigh. What was I babbling on about, anyway? There were other matters that I needed to attend to. I looked over at Fran, and gave him a smile. There <em>was<em> one other thing in this world that gave me happiness.

**(*26B LEMONADE WARNING*** And sorry, after writing this, I seriously regretted not changing POV. -.-')

I rolled over towards Fran, and eased my arms around him, then pulled him back, over me. "Nn... Bel...?" he grunted. "What's up?"

"Mammon just paid me a visit," I said. "I've made the decision to give myself to you a little early." Fran glanced over at the clock.

"It's five in the morning, y'maniac," he grumbled. I giggled, and started to undress anyway, and grinned widely as Fran watched me. I had only gotten my shirt and jacket off when Fran gave in and followed suit. "All right, I can't resist you if you flash the freaky birthmark," he snickered, pulling off his clothes as well. We both stripped down, each giving a show for the other, and soon enough, we were just gazing at each other's bodies, intruiged. "Like what you see?" Fran asked, breaking the silence at last. I looked back up, grinned, nodded, and was pleased to see Fran's blush. "Well, all right," he sighed, "let's begin, shall we? You get the first move." I didn't even have to think about it. I sat upright and placed my hand on his chest, then came in and gave him what Squalo had called a 'love bite,' making sure that I placed it just right for people to notice it.

"Your turn," I husked, backing away. Fran snickered, reaching up and touching the mark I had made, then moved his hands to my thighs. I blushed as he came up and kissed me, and the small moans he gave throughout the kiss implied that he was working to prepare himself for what was coming soon. When Fran backed off of me, his manhood had been brought to a state where we could both tell that he was both ready and eager to move on with it. "How do you want to do it?" I whispered. Fran's blush at that point made me wonder if he was really that nervous.

"How do you?" he countered. Pitying him and his mind that clearly had trouble with this particular topic, I turned onto my stomach, holding my hips upwards. This way, Fran wouldn't be embarassed as much, because I wouldn't be looking at him. "Like that, huh?" came his sigh. "All right... here goes nothing, I guess." I closed my eyes, resting my head in my arms, and I waited for Fran to come to me. It wasn't long before I felt something prod my backside, and I blushed as Fran began to enter me, knowing that this is what I had waited so long for. Granted, the entire ordeal started roughly, and my eyes were watering right from the beginning, but Fran's hands gently massaged my back, and I began to relax, closing my eyes as Fran closed the distance between us. "Well," Fran breathed, "not as hard as I thought it would be." I grinned.

"That's easy for you to say." Fran gave a small chuckle, and he bent over, giving me a backwards hug as he rested his head on my shoulder.

"Tell me when the princess is ready for a little action," he husked. Although suprised- and slightly intimidated- by Fran's burst of courage, I turned my head towards the other, and nodded.

"How 'bout you tell me when the frog is ready to actually move?" I giggled. Fran rolled his eyes, and moved back up, then began to rock his hips into mine, starting slow, and I mewled quietly with mixed pleasure and pain, my face flushing as I tried to picture the sight I would get if I could turn my head a hundred eighty degrees. Fran's hands moved from my shoulder blades to my hips, and he held on to me, simultaneously giving the pace a slight increase. I began to pick up a rugged pant as Fran moved, and I reached up, sacrificing the comfort of my head-in-arms position to clutch the sheets between my fingers. I buried my crimson face in the pillow, feeling my entire body give way from the pleasure, and I moaned quietly as Fran hit a spot inside me that made the pleasure spike.

"Ohh?" Fran said, his voice breathy. "Looks like you're really getting into it, too."

"You are too, Fran," I snickered, "sorry I'm saying this, but I want to change position..."

Fran allowed me to roll onto my back, and as we picked up from where we'd left off, Fran came in, and kissed me. As if the pounding rhythm wasn't enough to focus on, I now had Fran's beautiful face right in front of me, and soon, our kiss turned into some sort of tongue wrestling match, which I was failing miserably. At that point, just when I was starting to think things couldn't get better, Fran took the chance to move his hand south and give me some extra pleasure. I couldn't take it anymore. Fran was everywhere, doing everything, and doing it all right. My climax came over me in a flash, and I was unable to even say a word until it had already passed, and Fran, clearly having been convinced by the moment, also began to calm, and he soon released all of his different holds on me, then lied down beside me, calming down.

"Well...," he began.

"Well what?"

"That went by a lot faster than I expected," he mumbled.

"That's 'cause you were being particularly nice tonight."

"Whatever, Bel-hime, just be glad I... (Fran yawned)... let you seduce me so easily."

The younger man wrapped his arms around me, and I gave a quiet sigh, pulling the covers over us. Cleaning up could wait until morning. In the mean time, the both of us needed to sleep, knowing that no more fear and hate would ever intrude on our relationship.

**(*LEMONADE ENDS HERE*)**

Fran and my relationship continued for years. Mukuro continued to teach Fran how to use illusions, and whenever Fran learned something new, I was the first he'd show it to. One day, Fran walked up to me, and breathed, "Bel, I can't hate or fear anything," to which I smiled, and told him about my own personal 'awakening.' Hibari and Mukuro became good friends with Lussuria, to the point where Hibari decided that he'd cook meals for the Varia so that Lussuria could work. By the time we'd reached that point in life where the first, annoying, silver hair showed, Mukuro was a changed man. He and Hibari became photographers, specializing in birds. Squalo and Xanxus stayed together in the Varia, and helped to rehabilitate their fellow young troublemakers. As for Fran and I, we began to draw together. My passion for sketching, combined with Fran's hidden talent for computer graphics (probably the offspring of his illusions) turned the both of us into reknown artists. Through our lives, things only became better. We lived, we loved, and we cared for one another. We learned, and we laughed, never turning down a chance to smile. We forgave, too.

And for the first time in my life, I had a happily ever after to enjoy.

**-Owari**

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><p>Ahh~ There we have it. Hoping that all those things that Bel was rambling on about are remembered by the readers. :)<p>

Please Review!


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